Friday, September 20, 2013

Fever & Anger

I’m struck with a mild fever today. I think my body has reacted to all the torments it has been subjected to in these past few days. I rarely contracted fever…I took this as a signal to slow myself down a bit.

I gulped down a Panadol before having a deep sleep just after Maghrib. Woke up around 11.30p.m, my head still felt a bit dizzy, but it was a lot better. I’ve already notified my ‘steamboat’ friends of my condition…they cancelled a car because I couldn’t attend the function. One or two of them showed a degree of concern…really appreciate it, although I don’t really give a hoot whether anybody is concern or not about me. I can take care of myself. I can live by myself.

There was a bit of a situation in the English class last evening. The lecturer (a young Chinese) was giving a lecture on diversity of cultures, when she implied that Malay is a kind and polite race. She asked the opinion of the class, when suddenly a female Chinese student daringly said that Malay is not that polite.

I suddenly raised my voice, telling her off that we (Malay) are indeed a polite people. She changed her tone afterwards, perhaps partly because of my directness, saying that majority of the Malays are polite, with few bad apples, as with other races.

How impolite to say that a certain race is not polite in front of the whole class? This has never occurred before. They are getting very loud and vocal lately. A case of superiority complex? They claimed to be treated as a second class citizen, whereas they continuously depicted us (Malay) as having a second class mentality.

There was this case last semester when a Chinese student indirectly saying in front of the whole class that Malays are lazy. It didn’t help to have a lecturer who was more of a liberal Malay apologetic. For me, this was not a laughing matter.

There was another situation in the same class (economy), where I tried to explain something (related to the subject) to a Chinese student, in which she listened half-heartedly. I knew what was playing in her mind. For her, as a Malay, I did not have the intelligence to digest the subject better than her.

When the mid-semester result was out, in which the lecturer called out the names of the top scorer in front of the class, my name was among the list. That Chinese girl looked at me in disbelief. There were two or three more Malay names on the list besides me. Surprised to see us Malays do have a brain, eh?

Also on the list was this one quiet Chinese guy, who always seated next to me at the back row. I admired his personality; calm, quiet, never uttered a single word. And most importantly, he was not boastful. He explained to me that his goal was only to pass the subject, not scoring an A.

He reminds of a quote from Plato “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something”.

I have nothing against the Chinese, almost all my good friends in Penang were Chinese. In fact I worked under them closely for three years. I went out with them, hang around with them. We ate together, went to cinemas together, played badminton together, gossiped together, and argued together. But a handful of them just raised my temper indefinitely. And I really couldn’t stand it.

I think my fever has slowly subsided. Will watch some episodes of Spellbinder 2 before reviewing one or two subjects. Need to do some practical work tomorrow. I hope everything goes as planned.