Wednesday, March 25, 2009


1. Today is USM's 39th Graduation Ceremony.

2. Fazri arrived two days ago. He and his soon-to-be wife, Farha will be graduating together. Just over a year ago, their relationship was on the brink of collapse. But he somehow, managed to weather the storm successfully.

3. Fazri tried to win Farha’s heart not in one semester, not in two, not even in three…he tried diligently for over seven semesters! A classic example illustrating true love is still alive and kicking in our modern atmosphere.

4. There’s time when Fazri was exhausted…but I kept persuading him to persevere. Now he is reaping the fruits of his relentless efforts.

5. There's a joke flying around us that both Fazri and Hafiz will get two scrolls upon graduation...a degree scroll and a certificate of marriage scroll (as both of them found their life partner in campus while studying). As for me, I did secured Fifa Championship winner's scroll under my belt.

6. Graduation is and will always captures every undergraduate imagination. This is the much awaited ceremony, a sign of the highest accomplishment as a student. All the hard work thoroughout the years had been paid off, and this is the moment to cap it off in style. It is a once in a lifetime moment.

7. During my matriculation years, we did have a convocation ceremony. But I skipped the event in defiance of the way it was conducted. Students were lined up to receive the coveted scroll according to their achievement. Meaning, those high flying 4 flat students will head the list, while those lagging behind will be the last to receive their scrolls on the stage.

8. The all conquering A-list, 4 flat students will receive their scrolls in all smiling manner. But how about the last row of students? the 2.00 to 2.50 pointer? can we imagine their feeling? I can picture their grim face while receiving the scroll...while students on the floor will regard them as C or even D class graduate. They will portrayed them as somehow belong to a lower status.

9. Despite playing fool and skiving off almost on a regular basis, I did managed to pull off a satisfactory result in the examination. I was in the range of the second class upper...due mainly to my luck. But still I abhor placing and judging people according to their examination result. This is, for me, some kind of discrimination. So I stayed away from the graduation ceremony.

10. Mr Lee, a rather strict Mathematics teacher who found convenience in punishing me repeatedly for failing to turn up in his class, was handed the task to address the rehearsal ceremony. When he called out my name and nobody answered, he had a second look at the list, and promptly said "Oh...I know this boy! That showed how infamous I once was back then.

11. It is not the scroll that matters. It is, after all, just a piece of paper. We should reflect what is on the scroll, not the scroll to reflect who we are. Make people amazed and dazzled by our sharp thinking, our matured take on issues and our rational mind. Make them say "Ohh...that's why he graduated from USM...". Let us reflect and justify what's being printed on the scroll.

12. Often we see graduates unable to express his or her thoughts articulately...but his or her scroll stated otherwise. They were clueless about simple facts, but their scroll reads out the all conquering A's in all subjects. They just don't justify their academic achievement on print. It's a shame.

13. Are they just a "paper tiger'? something that looked fiercely strong on paper, but it was a far cry from reality. It's a known fact our standard of education has deteriorated badly in recent years, but let's not be part of it. A good egg in a bad basket is still a good egg nevertheless.

14. Convocation Ceremony is just that...a ceremony. Being a true believer of reclusive lifestyle, I despise ceremony of every kind. That's why I would avoid any of it. Maybe I would changed in the future, but for the time being, it's here to stay...

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Can we predict the future?

1. They say, a picture tells a thousand words. But this picture invokes a thousand questions inside my head. Can we, in any way possible, be able to predict the future?

2. During my nostalgic primary school, I was blessed with an array of great friends. They were my former pillar of strength, guiding me through the swathe of uncertainties, cruising together through the folly of youth, braving together through the endless joy of being young and playful kids.

3. We had zero problem back then. All day long, we just think about playing. Everyday was about playing here and there. School happened to be our big and ready playground. Boys and girls mixed naturally...although girls tend to appear a bit mature in personality and bigger physically. I remember I once regarded Halimah as " a dinasour " due to her apparent physical dominance.

4. One thing I remember very clearly, the constant teasing of me having a 'feeling' for Khadijah. I don't know how it all started...but it began to gain momentum once Azimie entered the fray.

5. It was a well kept secret that I had a crush on Busra. Busra was a special girl...with a special aura of attracting people. She was a magnet of attention among boys. She was there with me from standard 2. She and me moved up the ladder until we found our way in 6 Berlian, the best class in the school.

6. I liked her very much back then. I used to carve her name on the ground outside my house. But to tell her my real feeling is like committing a suicide. No way I'll reveal my feeling to her...imagine the embarrasment if she rejected me. So I conceal my true feeling. Soon with the passing of time, this feeling evaporated.

7. Out of nowhere, rumours abound that I liked Khadijah. From every corner of the class, everybody keep teasing me and her. Even Busra herself hopped on the bandwagon. I was left feeling clueless and confused.

8. Azimie, my close friend, was the main perpetrator of the gossip. He teased me to no end...I even didn't dare speaking or looking at Khadijah for fear of being in the unnecessary spotlight of attention. Zahid even created a special acronym for us, "SK" which stood for 'Suhaimi and Khadijah'. It was very silly.

9. Khadijah was a good girl. But I have no feeling for her whatsoever. Even she was quite disturbed by the gossip, perpetrated and spread by Azimie and the gang. But she kept her calm and talked to me as nothing happened.

10. The gossip cooled down a bit when we were assigned a new desk in the classroom. I was partnered with Ayu. Together with Ayu, we devised a secret way of communicating. For example, 'tff zpv' means 'see you'...just replaced the word with the earlier alphabet (S comes before T, E before F, and so on...)

11. Busra, Azimie and Khadijah continued their studies in Sek Men Jitra, while I was being shipped off into exile in Malacca. So we were being separated for the first time. I lost contact with them for five long years.

12. 6 years on, Azimie finally revealed to me he is dating Khadijah! He claimed to have the 'feeling' since the early period of secondary school, and managed to keep the feeling intact throughout the entire 5 years. He didn't have guts to express his he suppressed his love for her all this while.

13. Late last year, they tied the knot. Now Khadijah is officially the wife of Azimie. The one who was responsible to initiate a mass gossip between me and Khadijah nearly 12 years ago, is now married to...guess what...Khadijah herself...the main subject of his own gossip.

14. If somebody used a time machine and flew back 12 years in time to tell me in advance that Azimie is going to marry Khadijah in the end, no way could I have believe that. But after all, we can't predict the future...aren't we? Hope their marriage stays right to the end...

Monday, March 9, 2009

Beating 3 Warriors

When I was a young senior (or an old junior) in form four, my lovely house, Razak, organized a writing competition. They made it compulsory for all students to take part…although I hardly remember all the details now.

The undisputed “King Of Writing” at that time was no other than a certain Hazri Azizan. He scored a good, above-average mark in every monthly test of Bahasa Melayu. His composition always made it to the top, regularly photocopied and circulated among other students as a benchmark. He was often praised by Mr Kipli Ali, our Jaafar Onn look-alike teacher at the said time.

Hazri was indeed a good writer. He followed the teacher’s instruction very well…and he possessed a rare creativity. His “3 warriors” piece, which he wrote for the competition, was a hard proof for his talent.

In 1999, when I was a raw form two student, under the guidance of Mr Kamarudin Othman (KO), I wrote something about a lifecycle of a housefly’s life. It was a totally useless piece, a crap composition, and up to this day, I still couldn’t figure out how on earth I got the nerve to write it.

It was a short story centering on a sorry housefly born in the morning, got married in the afternoon, divorced shortly after that, back to his wife again not long afterwards, and then in the evening was brutally hit to death by a woman when it accidentally landed on a so-called “Puding kelabu”.

A total crap however you look or read it, Mr KO rightly failed it almost instantly. He remarked that it was a negative composition…and the whole class altogether was having a good laugh back then. There was no hard feeling…because I wrote it purely for fun, not for grade.

In another case, we were doing a grammar revision, and we were instructed to construct a sentence out of a certain word. In one of the exercises, I wrote

"Gerakan mencari dan menyelamat mangsa banjir di kampung tersebut gagal kerana kampung tersebut memang tidak banjir

I was a playful boy back then, and Mr KO hilarious approach to teaching wasn’t much of a help. I took a lighter side of learning, unlike my peers who faced it on a serious note. All this nonsense stopped once I was preparing for PMR examination. Mr Taufik was a somewhat serious character…and it was during this period that I endured a change to my personality.

In form 4, we were having a period of uncertainty. In the first BM class ever under Mr Kipli, he asked us to prepare a composition of 600 words. 600 words! That was a very long and tiring writing. Form 4 was a distance memory of form 3, where I was having a smooth ride. SPM was after all, a different league compared to PMR.

Back to the essay episode, the deadline for the writing competition was drawing nearer. Yet I still hadn’t prepared anything. Forced by the pressing deadline, I reluctantly headed to my locker one night to pick necessary items for writing. On the way up to the preparation class, I spotted a couple chatting and having a good laugh just under the stair.

And so I decided to write something about them. Just halfway through the essay, I felt very sleepy…and I wrote “ Kepalaku terasa berat seperti diikat setandan kelapa…”. In short, I was writing a true story just as the things happened!

In the end, after putting in some fictions towards the end, I wrapped up the composition with great relief. I was among the last person to hand in the essay to Mr Kipli. It was done in such a hurry. No way could it match the likes of “3 warriors” piece by Hazri. 3 warriors was a short poem about our three wardens at that time, Mr Safri and his two other members, the comical Mr Razali (Ragi) and Mr Yogi-B (because he is a drop bit like Yogi-B)

When the result was announced, how surprised I was. I beat Hazri to the second place, with the winner went to Hikmah, if my mind served me right. 3 warriors was down to third place. And my essay was printed in Razak’s monthly circulation. Quite an achievement for me…and I truly never expected that.

* Originally written under the title of "English : The Farcical Fuss"
* "3 Warriors" is a loose translation of "3 Sekawan", a Malay poem originally written by Hazri

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My life so far...

1. Hafiz moved out three days ago...but left his garments. Maybe he still wants to stay here.

2. Tide of recession is coming onshore. My monthly salary is cut by half...I was even forced to take an extra day off. Already struggling to make ends meet, this surely struck me as a big blow. Can I survived?

3. Hafiz, on the recommendation of Abang Salim, took the job at JM. I was not very keen on him picking up that job. As I mentioned in my earlier entry, my workplace is "politically infected". You have to be shrewd enough to survive. But I'll assist him as far as I can.

4. My cough gradually subsided. I don't know what kind of virus that had bugged me all month long, but it did put me into an uncomfortable condition.

5. I surfed Firdaus the 'Papa's blog. Came to know about this talented Yuna. I heard she hailed from Kangar. Terrific of a kind. Hope to meet her in person someday.

6. Shuhada was sacked. It was terrible...and the way Yana mentioned about her sacking was terrible as well. They weren't visibly at loggerheads with each other...but I think there was some 'envious' feeling entrenched in Yana.

7. Shuhada was getting close with Adli. Yana seemed to have a feeling for Adli, before Shuhada made her unprecedented move. Wahida asked me about Shuhada and Adli's relation, but I asked her to refer to them instead for a clearer answer. They politely dismissed the speculation as rubbish.

8. Shuhada did came once in a while, but I haven't seen her for over a week. Really hope to see her again.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Almost a year ago (March 31, 2008), I left a comment on BigGuy's personal blog ( The comment read as :

Pancasara said...
I'm from Tunjang...a small cowboy town next to Jerlun. You must have passed through it on your way to Jerlun.

Been following you and your thoughts since the last two have my full respect and admiration.

Perjuangan memang belum selesai...cuma kena wat sesuatu dengan golongan-golongan muda...terutama pelajar IPT.

Banyak sangat yang dah kena rasuk anasir pembangkang, kalau tak diperbetulkan, tak mustahil satu hari nanti UMNO akan berkubur.Teruskan berjuang...bro!
March 31, 2008 2:42 AM

Guess what his reply was?

Zakhir's Zoo said...


Terima kasih.

Ya, Tuan memang betul. Perlu banyak dilakukan untuk mendekatkan diri kepada golongan muda, terutama anak Melayu dikawasan desa dan luar bandar.

Apa pun, Perjuangan Memang Belum Selesai dan tanggungjawab kita bersama, untuk menentukan Perjuangan itu diteruskan, demi kepentingan anak bangsa dan generasi akan datang.

April 4, 2008 10:29 PM


Sounds cool...

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Books, work, and life...

Just finished reading "China : The Gathering Threat". At 514 pages (excluding endnotes, index) this giant book remains the thickest book I've ever read. I have a bad habit of reading...I failed almost every single time to put the finishing touch everytime I read a particular book. Sayang nak baca sampai habis. Very bad habit...

Microtrends should follow suit...just few pages remaining. So too Zoom. Deep down, I still hankered for Naomi Kleinn's "A Shock Doctrine"...but I don't have enough money left.

Regarding my daily life, nothing much has changed. My workplace is still blanketed by heavy have to be prudent in your every move to avoid any unnecessary backlash.

I'm no master in politics...but by playing my cards right, I dodged every problems that fall on my path up to this day. I don't how long will all this continue...but I enjoyed my life now very much.

I am at the crossroad of my life...still looking for a tinge of hope. Do I have the necessary ingredients to sail through this chaotic life? And I miss somebody very much...although she would have forgotten me completely by now. All in all, life must goes I don't have much choice then...