Thursday, September 19, 2013


I still couldn't sleep tonight. This has been the sixth consecutive nights. I missed classes today, the first because of a stupid mistake, second because of peer pressure (it’s not really a pressure…but when you see two of the best students in your course sitting on the bench, chatting while the class is being conducted just across the corridor, what would be your reaction? For me, very simple…join them :-) . Had a good chat with both of them…we talked about myriad of issues, ranging from friendship, outings, proposal, project, car(?), raya and so on and so forth.

We planned to have pizza on Friday night. Another small circle of my friends invited me to a special treat tomorrow…steamboat. As if I have that much money? I am so broke now that I have to ration my daily expenditure. I gave a big portion of my scholarship to my parents. They need it more than me. I am left with almost nothing. But that’s far off from being a cause of concern for me, as money doesn't interest me much. I could survive on a very limited, shoestring budget. I was trained that way since at a very young age. In fact, when I first step foot on this campus, I had literally nothing. No money, no friends, no nothing. I applied for TBP (Tabung Bantuan Pelajar) and was granted the highest amount ever approved. I’m not sure on what criteria did they assess my application, but I think they somehow understood my condition (I was informed that TBP was capped at RM500…but I’ve seen cases where students received up to RM1000. I received much more than that).

I’m still in two minds about going out tomorrow. RM20 for that steamboat may be insignificant for the rest of us, but for me, that amount is equivalent to four days of my expenditure. But as they say, money can’t buy all those good times with your friends. Of course money can’t buy that sort of thing, but it definitely could buy me lunch and dinner for four consecutive days, instead of splashing it on just one night, no?

I'll rethink it over tomorrow. Now I need to force myself to sleep. Don't want to miss another class tomorrow.

Update 20/9 : TBP was set at maximum amount of RM1500, not RM500. My mistake. But still I was granted above that max allocated amount. I remember during the interview, I was asked point blank whether I would want to continue my study in Unimas for the post-graduate. I preferred a research university, that was my answer...for which she (TNC aide) emotionally replied that by 2015 Unimas would achieve a research status university. I must have ruffled her feathers then.