Friday, November 27, 2009

On Second Thought, Maybe No...

I was awakened by a loud ring coming from my newly acquired mobile phone.

A locally made brand, CSL stands for Commitment, Service and Loyalty (not Chua Soi Lek) It was bought by my brother from the money made available by my father. I don't even have enough money to buy my own handset...

The call was from Ah Cat...deliberately trying to reach me that early afternoon. She taught me some Hakka dialects the other well as some basic Mandarin. Kyra taught me some in the past...simple words such as Ni, Pu Yao and such. Ah Yong meanwhile, had been giving me some ridiculous Chinese terms such as kannasai, kanine, lao yi, and ah kua.

China is going to rule the world in the near it is imperative to pick up some basic understanding of Mandarin. The west would be fast becoming the thing of the past...our future lies in the east.

(As of 2008, US GDP stood at US$14.2 trillion, Japan at US$4.9 trillion and China was worth US$4.3 trillion. Judging from the stagnant state of Japan's economy and China's robust growth, it's not the matter of if, it's the matter of when China will overtake Japan as the second largest economy in the world. In 30 years or less, China will replace USA as the world’s least economically)

Later I found out Ah Cat was trying to ask me out for a lunch together. It seemed like a good idea.

The last time I ventured for shopping together with friends, it was a distant time ago. It was like a fading memory now...

I am frequently on my own. Almost all the time, I think about myself, cared for my own problems. I was totally absorbed in my own world. I don't need friends to survive...I lived alone for nearly one and a half year during that "dark" period. I read lots of books to divert my attention away from that painful had been gripping my emotion ever since.

My mind was occupied by the same memories that never seem to fade's been playing again and again like a track from a if they were trying to mock me. My heart was riveted by a constant fear and never seem to subside. These have been going on and on inside me until now...

When emptiness filled your heart and soul, you'd lost any bearing of life. When your heart dies, your mind would follow through...

I need to end this deadly cycle once and for all. Going out with a bunch of underage teenagers seems like not a very bad idea. Of course they are raw and young...and have little understanding of life. They have no clue what is waiting for them in the horizon...

"KFC…is it alright?"

"Movie on it ok? That 3D cartoon quite interesting…what's the title?"

"Let's buy some snacks!"

And the most bizarre of them is...

"You want to follow us to Genting? 2D 1N...RM 80 only!"

Genting? By themselves? What the...? Kids nowadays are so advanced...

Despite my tendency to be alone, I'm strictly not a puritan. Nor do I believe or follow the puritan attitude of life. Life should be enjoyed as it is. Having a bit of fun isn't dangerous to one's long as we could strike a right balance. I have endured many challenges...none of it succeeded in making me weaker in any aspects. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

On second thought...breezing through the shopping complex with a bunch of Chinese underage teenagers? Fuck hell no...I still have a conscience. I could well be mistakenly viewed as a child trafficker. I am better off sleeping...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

P.S I Love You

Several months back, while waiting for GSC to be ready for seating, a friend of Malik directed all his attention into a book. His act grabbed my curiosity. The book was covered with a if he was trying to conceal the title of the book.

"He's too shy to reveal the title of the book" explained Malik. "People will laugh at him".

I found the same book on the shelf of Malik's room some time afterwards. I was planning to read "The Golden Compass" beforehand...before my hand somehow touched the book.

"Is this book...any good?" I asked Malik, in a pessimistic manner.

"It's good!" He answered...enthusiastically.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt. So I borrowed the book from him.

I don't know what's so special about this book. Some time ago, while wandering around the blogosphere looking for good stories to fill my time, I came upon a blog which bore a name of the same writer.

And in one of the scenes of the recently aired "Sumpah Bunian"...the same book was spotted in Adam's (the lead actor) room.

The book was P.S I Love You. And the writer was Cecilia Ahern.

It took me two weeks to finish this 503 pages book. The story centres around two childhood lovebirds, Holly and Gerry who love each other very much. But the unthinkable happens when Gerry passed away...leaving Holly so devastated.

But Gerry had left her a bundle of notes to guide her out of her misery, each signed "P.S I Love You"

The storyline was weak...there were loopholes here and there. There was no particular chapter that held my attention grippingly...all the chapters were mundane and ordinary. The plot was loose...for instance, Holly's holiday was abruptly brought to an end. And their straying into the open sea, the quick action of the lifeguard to save them seemed...fake.

The plus point was the unexpected ending of the novel. From the beginning, I thought Gerry would eventually end up with Daniel...but it didn't materialize. Cecilia Ahern has a penchant for muscular man...she used this term regularly to give her character a favourable outlook throughout the book. And the novel was written in simple, easy-to-understand English.

I don't see myself reading another novel by her...maybe I am just not into fiction. I am a non-fictional type of person...before this, I never read a novel in my entire life, except for a novel by Ramli Awang Murshit, Satu Janji, during my matriculation year. It was recommended by a friend. It was a refreshing, thrilling novel...the one which were full of surprises. No wonder he has such a huge following.

Non-fiction puts our feet firmly on the ground. It feeds our mind with the inner working of our the world works, why something happens, and what is wrong with our actions...past or current. In this fast-paced world, we need information to keep us on par with other people. Failure to do that is an unmitigated disaster.

As for Cecilia Ahern...thank you for P.S I Love You. Although this novel was average at best, it did touch my heart and offered me some insights into the inner feeling of a girl. I heard somewhere the best way to understand a girl's feeling was through novel. And I read somewhere the most useless thing to do was to try to understand a girl's feeling...they were constantly changing...sometimes in a matter of second.

Going by the simple logic: If reading novel is the best way to understand girl, and trying to understand girl is useless, so reading novel is useless...

So no more novel after's a waste of time...

Monday, November 23, 2009

20 minutes of mystery...

Sifting through a stockpile of old articles, I came across this piece...written somewhere around 2007.

If my memory serves me right, I wrote this short essay to help my then temporary roommate, Hafiz, overcoming his crucial LSP paper.

LSP is a compulsory English paper to pass in USM. Although I somehow managed to scrap through with an A, this paper continues to haunt scores of students who lacked basic understanding of English, mainly originating from rural areas.

This article struck a chord with me because it was written within 20 minutes or less…maybe a record time for me so far for serious composition. It was written in one editing. Ideas were flowing freely during the if some invisible mind was helping me through, and the finished article was in print the next hour. I still believe it was my subconscious mind that helped me write this article.

And no...I wasn't consuming any drug at the said time.

Hafiz is now a full-fledged officer in National Statistic Department.

Canning has been a hot topic among educators, parents as well as academicians throughout the time, particularly the last few weeks. This is no part due to the opinion of the reintroduction of canning on girls. This has created much controversy, with many quarters of parents rejected the move.

Canning is used as a last resort to maintain order in schools. Schools nowadays are way very different compared to 20 or 30 years ago. There are all sorts of influence on teenagers these days...including overwhelming reach of internet, trendy gadgets, and booming culture that is not originated from our country.

This prompted school authority to ban certain things that are viewed as not proper to be used in school, such as the use of handset and lab top in school compound. And parents have become savvier about school regulation...particularly affecting their children.

The millennium parents are not the same as 20 years ago, where they leave their children completely at the hand of their teachers. They have become more protective regarding their children...and this has caused much difficulty for respective teachers. Teachers are aware that they may face unknown consequences from parents should they go on with the corporal punishment, but the need to keep their students in check over their behavior.

Some things change over a period of time, but some things just remain the same. In the case of canning, it is still viewed as necessary, particularly to control the 'mischievous' students. If they commit mistakes or improper conduct and neglected the teachers first and second warning, so what should the teachers do next?

Although the same punishment on girls are highly controversial, but canning punishment on boys should remain. But the punishment should be carried out in closed doors, as public canning would leave them with negative psychological effects, and they may become rebellious too.

Canning is a last resort to correct our students, as it shows they have done something wrong and to show the seriousness of their offense to the school regulations.

Some parents may object the punishment, as they viewed it as unnecessary. And they are scared for their children safety as well. Undeniably, all parents think their children are a good person, and they"ll defend their children no matter what. This in no part due to a student being a good child at how come they can break certain school regulation?

Certain pupils have these kind of dual personality...they are so quite at home but can be abrasive in schools. So teachers have to react swiftly to prevent them from disturbing other students.
The same procedure (canning) has worked for enormous people...including individual that turned out to be doctors, lawyers and other professionals nowadays.

Ask any of them, and majority will answer canning is some sort of punishment that made them into what they are today. If the same punishment worked in the past, there's no reason why we should stop the practice now. It is for the betterment of our young generation, the leaders of tomorrow.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


I've been tinkering with the idea of floating my blog again...after a prolong hibernation period.

All this while, I gave Pancasara his much needed rest. He's fully recharged now...eager to face the new world, with a new belief.

I don't want to rush him back too soon...maybe after a couple more postings, he'd be fully ready.

Face your fear. No excuses.