Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Lenka Show

Catchy melody, meaningful lyrics.

So I'll give Lenka a special mention here.

Lenka : The Show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

Slow it down, make it stop or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot to be something I'm not
I'm a fool out of love 'cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs and synchronize in time
It's a joke nobody knows, they've got a ticket to the show

Yeah, I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show, just enjoy the show

I want my money back, I want my money back
I want my money back, just enjoy the show
I want my money back, I want my money back
I want my money back, just enjoy the show...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A visit from Wa

When I came back from Jitra, I noticed a car was parked just outside my house's compound. I knew straightaway that Wa had arrived.

I tried to find a decent and cheap pen drive in Jitra. The shops were still closed, leaving me with little option than to opt for a Chinese shop. They priced the new Kingston Traveler 4 Gig at RM35.

I asked Ijal whether this ranged between a reasonable price...and he thought it was. But I decided against buying it after noticing a KFC outlet offers my sought after WiFi access. WiFi is such a rarity in Jitra...unlike in Penang.

Wa...or Wa Doyah as my mom preferred to call her, is my mother's only sister. My late grandma married twice...and my mother came from grandma’s second marriage. They shared the same mother with different father. Step-sister...or whatever they called it. But mother loved her sister fondly.

Wa brought along her son. Her son is married to the niece of the famed Dato' Dr Haron Din. I was still confused why the heck my family branches were all somehow connected to PAS' top echelon. PAS deputy president, Nasharuddin Mat Isa is married to one of my aunt (not my real aunt...but somehow closely related) Ustaz Nasha regularly delivered Hari Raya sermons in my village's Musollah.

I dreaded to think if, I repeat if, I am ordained to marry this Islamic type lady in the future. Coming from a PAS' loyalist surrounding, it’s a wonder how I deviated from the tradition.

But my cousin is moderately attired. No head-to-toe covering. I am not against 'Burqa' type of lady...I'm against 'Burqa' follower who thinks they are more pious and more Islamic than the rest of us. Their behavior smacks of holier than thou attitude...which I hate a lot.

I took a bath, prepared myself and sat around them. I listened carefully to every details of their conversation. It was a joy listening to people who spoke the same native language as mine.

Outsiders often mislead that northern people speak one same dialect. It was not.

Wa and my mother were hailed from Perlis. Their dialect was a bit different from us Kedahan's, although my mother successfully assimilated through her long stay here. I was born in Kangar, but I regard Kedah as my native state, Perlis as my second state, Malacca and Penang as my third and fourth state respectively.

I remember father once chided my mother for calling a catapult (or slingshot...whatever they call it) as teghede. Father told mother that the correct term was teghebe. Later, I discovered that catapult was sometimes referred to as teghede in Perlis. Mother was not wrong after all.

There was a time in the past when I was in my relatives' village in the rural part of Arau. One of the elders there greeted me

"Mekala balik...kelih dok...?"

It sounded funny in Kedah...but that's the beauty of our dialect.

Father told one of my cute cuddly cousins to call me Pak Ngah. I wondered why Pak Ngah? Why not Pak Chaq? After all, I am the eldest.

It was then I remembered the lanky Aslan, my other cousins in Langkawi. Even though he is younger than me (turning 17 this year...living alone in Langkawi as his father is living out of retirement in Kangar. Drives around with Waja...quite a flamboyant boy) but he is the son of my mother's eldest brother. He is the rightful owner of the title Pak Chaq.

We had a simple lunch together moments afterwards. I seated with my father, uncle and my younger brother. The weather was good...it was a cloudy afternoon. I listened tentatively as father and uncle chatted away, encompassing various issues that were close to their heart.

I don't know when this kind of moment will happen again. Maybe I should spend more time at home...I've been away far too long...

Monday, October 12, 2009

Will You Come Tomorrow?

"Will you come tomorrow?" asks 16-year old Ah Cat.

I have no idea whether that is a question or a request.

For what is certain, I have works to do tomorrow. So I definitely couldn't come...even if I wanted to.

The first time I met Ah Cat, I have a mixed first impression on her. Underneath her dry personality, she looked comfortable with herself. And she looked at me as though I was an alien thrown out from the faraway outer space to live with human.

Later I found out that she is fascinated by my supposedly 'big eyes'. There were some people in the past that said I owned a pair of big eyes...although I didn't quite believe them. A senior in my former school once asked me to borrow my eyes...as if I could unplug it from my eye-socket at my own freewill.

Lai Kuan occasionally said so also.

I still remember Najwa once said I have a pair of big and curvy eyes...or in short, pretty eyes. It was a rare occasion to receive a compliment from her...and I didn't know how to appreciate it. But that was the time when the mantra "till death do us apart" still persisted among us.

My eyes are normal...whatever they may say.

I read somewhere that people with big eyes are probably 'more intelligent than average'. So do people with a large forehead. I am an average people...so I don’t have big eyes (I don't know if my line of logic is correct here) For what is certain, big eyes and big forehead don't guarantee success unless we work hard towards it.

Ah Bie, Ah Cat best friend, thought I was a Chinese. A lot of people share that misconception nowadays...something that was unprecedented in the past. Maybe because I mingled more with Chinese now compared with the past. A good friend of mine even said I looked like Yassin Brothers. Weird. Does that mean I'm a bit of an Arabic-looking guy? Great...now I can join PAS. Yess. Masuk syurga.

Big eyes are not a characteristic of a typical Chinese. If you say I have big eyes, and at the same time trumpeting that I looked like a Chinese, that's a contradiction in itself. I can't have big eyes AND looked like a Chinese at the same time. One of it must be wrong. Or both of it could be wrong.

Ah Bie asked whether I was of mixed parentage. I am a true-blue authentic Malay. My mother is Malay. My father is Malay. I knew little about my grandfather and my grandmother...but they must be purely Malay. I am fully Malay at heart and soul. And I’m very proud of that.

Ah Cat was left teary-eyed after a strong telling off from that lousy Lao Yi. It was harsh...considering she is just a teenager. She's just too young. Ah Bie tried hard to console her...she even pleaded with me to come tomorrow to keep Ah Cat accompanied.

I hope Ah Cat remains strong. I began to love her personality. Childish and cute...although she looked a bit "messy".

I won't come tomorrow...or the day after...but I'll definitely come the day after that...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dinner, and nonsense...

Just had my dinner. It was great. In Penang, it was Kalel, Kalel and Kalel every night. We do have kitchen in my rented house, but I suck when it comes to cooking. My two housemates are quite adapt at it...they do all the cooking. And I usually do all the eating.

Before my burning passion to write diminished, I should get going. This post will only appear after I get back to Penang...so in short, I'm writing in advance.

I got a hold of my younger brother laptop. Great also...the minus side is there's no connection available. Internet connection. Other connection is good...I just played Fifa 09 this afternoon. Beat Man U 1-0. Only after being beaten like...10 times. Great. I haven't played Fifa close to ten months...after winning the much-touted Akhirat championship with ease.

Background music is also great. My younger brother has a penchant for slow music. That explains the inclusion of Leann Rhimes, BSB, N'SYNC in his hard disk storage. I don't have any particular music that interests me...although I have a soft spot for Linkin Park and Green Day. But I do listen to BSB and all those boy bands sometimes...I don't want to be a hypocrite.

My brother looked a bit different from the last time I saw him. He sported a beard...much to my envy. He is taller than me now. My second brother, who is due to sit for his PMR exam next month, has already outgrown me. The most problematic among us all, he quit school more than once. He got into fights almost on a regular basis. Father had lost any hope on him apparently...leaving me as the only member of the family who still has faith in him.

He's a bright young boy...everyone can tell it right away. The only problem is he doesn't know how to channel his talent properly. He remembers the name of all our relatives...and could recall the details of his conversation with anyone at ease...even though it happened quite a while ago. He never did any revision, reading for him is a big no-no. If only he could discipline himself and read something for a while, he could vastly improve himself.

My youngest brother is still in standard four. As I was typing this just now, he was standing right beside me...wondering what the hell I was passionately doing. I have no idea whether he understands all this or not...but as a precaution, I assumed he could. So I waited until he lost interest on what I was doing, before I continue writing. He is the most obedient, well-mannered of all...I loved him the most.

My sister, on the other hand...is complicated. A successful career-oriented woman, she is now taking a short course to improve on her salary. The other day, a day before Raya, she was busy preparing herself for the upcoming exams. She asked me to give her some lending hand in translation...as all of the materials were in English.

She scribbled down some notes as I explained certain terms and phrases to her...since finishing high school, I never saw her studying this hard. She did her own revision afterwards. The next thing I knew, she had already fallen asleep in front of the TV.

Time for action...I'll beat Man U this time around...I swear...

Monday, October 5, 2009

I knew you played Futsal...

Just outside the management office, I meet Wani. We didn’t have any conversation for about a month. She is just coming back from her long Raya holiday.

The last time we spoke, she commented about me gaining some weight. Just a few days later, she was bewildered by my sudden change of appearance.

“How come now abang look so skinny thin…?"

Weight is not an issue for me actually…man just doesn’t care much about that. Depending on my activity, I might gain some incredible extra pounds when there are no badminton/squash games…and I could shed so much weight when it is otherwise.

And I do have a strict control over my food intake…for economic and health reasons.

“My legs are aching…we played Futsal last night…Saiful was also there…”

“I know…he told me. He said he was surprised to see you turning up”

He told Wani? No wonder. They are in a romantic relationship now. Saiful knew my name through her…that explains why he could spontaneously call my name when he lofted a beautifully-crafted cross for me to convert it into a goal.

All that I managed to do was to get a comical slice touch of the ball, before it rolled out for a throw in. I am absolutely a legend for squandering that kind of chances.

We talk about Futsal…before the topic sways towards Kyra.

“Abang still message Kyra?"

“No…not for a long period. Why?”

“Me too…she rarely messages me now. I wonder how she is doing right now…”

“She’ll be ok…”

Her : ..............

Me : ...............

“Are you two, in any way possible, a declared partner?”

“No…we never declared…”

“Oh…I see…”

Me : ..............

Her : .............

As I’m about to leave the scene (there is nothing much to talk about anyway…) Wani asks me to stay for a while.

She looks hesitated. Something is holding her from revealing something to me. I don’t know what it is…but I think it is about me.

I look at Wani. No doubt she’s a beautiful young girl. She has flawless skin…not even a blemish spotted on her face…it is a near perfection. Mak cik Ani describes her as a “stunning young beauty”. She even tries to match her with one of her friend…much to my amusement. But I never told this to her.

But personally, I think Kyra is prettier. And cuter. But Najwa was the cutest.

They are bosom friends. Kyra told everything to Wani. And I told everything to Pancasara. Wani may give some insights to Kyra…but Pancasara never give any advice to me. He just stood there…as a good listener.

“Ever watched Saiful play Futsal?”

“Never…but he plays football regularly…since his younger days. How was he?”

“Quite awesome…you should see him in action. Good dribbling, brilliant ball control…I think he tops the scoring chart last night…”

“Is it? He once injured his knee…had just recovered from it…”

Wani looks excited to hear more about Saiful. She seems to forget what she's going to tell me earlier. We end up chatting for another few minutes...before Wani realizes it is about time for her to go.

That brief conversation leaves me with more questions than answers...