Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Saturday, March 26, 2016
My Precious Circle of Friends
I was reading light articles on obesity (my supposed research interest) when I came across this light-hearted joke.
Malaysia was rated as the highest among Asian countries for obesity (2014).
Yes...Malaysia was the heavyweight champion among Asia's heavyweights. This was statistically proven, even by reputedly international journal.
Five out of ten Malaysians (5/10) suffer obesity (BMI more than 25).
Then came the comment. If five out of ten Malaysians suffer obesity, does that mean the other five actually enjoy obesity?
This single-handedly made my day.
This may be quite true.
From time immemorial, we have seen that obese people are actually the most enjoyable people. They enjoy themselves and are a great company to enjoy with.
Maybe obesity and suffering are not a match made in heaven...enjoying obesity seems to be a more fitting match.
As I was enjoying the light nature of the article, Syaher, who was sitting in front of me (obviously boredom was slowly killing him) abruptly asked me a question.
Mi, do you ever feel bored? How do you escape from it?
Of course I feel bored. I'm always bored. I never escape from it. I just lived with it.
Actually the company of him (Syaher) and Syafiq every night, in front of me, in this lab, was the influence that helped me tolerate my boredom.
Without them, I don't know what would become of me.
I really enjoyed being with them.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Revenge Of The Fallen
I wrote this short piece on July 1, 2009, not long before I completed The Soulmate That Wasn't. But for some unclear reasons, I buried this piece in the draft mode up until today.
Kyra was a very young and naive girl back then. We worked together in the same department. A fluent Mandarin speaker, she rose through hardship her entire life. She cast so much influence during my disarray period that I wrote The Kyra Chronicles, a three part series to immortalize her in Pancasara.
But she was unhappy with it, partly because she didn't want her life story to be made public. After a short period of display of the final part, I retracted the trilogy from public view, out of respect for her. Although I rate The Kyra Chronicles as one of my best piece, it would never be seen in public again. I will bring this trilogy to the grave.
The Revenge of The Fallen is important for me because it also marked the re-emergence of Najwa during this difficult period.
I made a vow to shave my head bald if Kyra were to further her studies. She was a girl full of potential, but she was quite reluctant to study. She did in the end, and we lost contact ever since.
Wherever she is now, I wish her all the best.
Revenge of The Fallen
(July 1, 2009)
I woke up pretty late on Monday morning. By that time, my handphone was already inundated with messages. I was slated for an early screening of Transformer this morning...accompanied by Kamarul and Fauzan.
The earliest slot (11.30 a.m) was already full by the time we got there. So we settled for the next slot, scheduled at 12.15 p.m. This eagerly anticipated movie was fully booked for 3 straight days beginning Wednesday (its released date)...Transformer surely has a special aura under its belt.
It was a crowd puller at its best...almost a full house even though it was still 12.15 noon. Kamarul and Fauzan wore special jacket to cover their office attire. They skipped their duty hours to sneak into GSC...if they were caught, they'll be in deep trouble.
Overall it's a good movie...with superb visual effects and earth-shattering sounds. But to be honest, I prefer the first movie...which I watched in Langkawi.
Shortly after the movie, we went for lunch. Upon reaching home, I took my bath...and readying myself for a special occasion...
...in which I had my hair shaved to baldness.
This is the first time I ever do this...and I did this for a reason...for somebody...
I could feel the Adrenaline rush all over my body...it was a tense moment. I only openned my eyes when the process was over...the first time I glanced towards myself in the mirror, my first thought was...I looked weird. Very weird. Like an alien from the outerspace.
But I'll get used to it in no time.
When I got home, a strange number rang a miscall on my handphone. I never replied to an unknown number...but this was followed by a message, surrounded by mystery...
Barely 3 hours later, she revealed herself...it was surely a pleasant surprise. I never expected her to emerge at this difficult and trying time of my life. I was on a rough patch...and when a legend that once conquered your heart came out from the wilderness to greet you, how would you feel?
The Kyra Chronicles will commence as usual after this posting...it was prepared in advance. But it will undertake a short break...there were so many things to consider. There are some things that should be kept only to yourself. "Some things are better be left untold"...as they say. Even with the sudden unexpected re-emergence of Najwa, I won't edit the content much...it will be a long story, spanning the period of two months before she left for Arau.
If my calculation was correct, the news of my 'baldness' will reach Kyra in no time. And I was dead correct..there is something in this world that can travel faster than the speed of light, that defies logic and physics...and it happens when women talked among themselves.
Kyra told me not to do it anymore...but nevertheless she acknowledged my 'bold' move (or should a 'bald' move be a more appropriate sentence?)
But in the meantime, I have to stave off ceaseless 'friendly' taunts from all corners. Wan called me a "dragon ball"...while Amir referred to me as a "skinhead".
I only hope my hair regains its crowning glory as soon as possible...
Kyra was a very young and naive girl back then. We worked together in the same department. A fluent Mandarin speaker, she rose through hardship her entire life. She cast so much influence during my disarray period that I wrote The Kyra Chronicles, a three part series to immortalize her in Pancasara.
But she was unhappy with it, partly because she didn't want her life story to be made public. After a short period of display of the final part, I retracted the trilogy from public view, out of respect for her. Although I rate The Kyra Chronicles as one of my best piece, it would never be seen in public again. I will bring this trilogy to the grave.
The Revenge of The Fallen is important for me because it also marked the re-emergence of Najwa during this difficult period.
I made a vow to shave my head bald if Kyra were to further her studies. She was a girl full of potential, but she was quite reluctant to study. She did in the end, and we lost contact ever since.
Wherever she is now, I wish her all the best.
Revenge of The Fallen
(July 1, 2009)
I woke up pretty late on Monday morning. By that time, my handphone was already inundated with messages. I was slated for an early screening of Transformer this morning...accompanied by Kamarul and Fauzan.
The earliest slot (11.30 a.m) was already full by the time we got there. So we settled for the next slot, scheduled at 12.15 p.m. This eagerly anticipated movie was fully booked for 3 straight days beginning Wednesday (its released date)...Transformer surely has a special aura under its belt.
It was a crowd puller at its best...almost a full house even though it was still 12.15 noon. Kamarul and Fauzan wore special jacket to cover their office attire. They skipped their duty hours to sneak into GSC...if they were caught, they'll be in deep trouble.
Overall it's a good movie...with superb visual effects and earth-shattering sounds. But to be honest, I prefer the first movie...which I watched in Langkawi.
Shortly after the movie, we went for lunch. Upon reaching home, I took my bath...and readying myself for a special occasion...
...in which I had my hair shaved to baldness.
This is the first time I ever do this...and I did this for a reason...for somebody...
I could feel the Adrenaline rush all over my body...it was a tense moment. I only openned my eyes when the process was over...the first time I glanced towards myself in the mirror, my first thought was...I looked weird. Very weird. Like an alien from the outerspace.
But I'll get used to it in no time.
When I got home, a strange number rang a miscall on my handphone. I never replied to an unknown number...but this was followed by a message, surrounded by mystery...
Barely 3 hours later, she revealed herself...it was surely a pleasant surprise. I never expected her to emerge at this difficult and trying time of my life. I was on a rough patch...and when a legend that once conquered your heart came out from the wilderness to greet you, how would you feel?
The Kyra Chronicles will commence as usual after this posting...it was prepared in advance. But it will undertake a short break...there were so many things to consider. There are some things that should be kept only to yourself. "Some things are better be left untold"...as they say. Even with the sudden unexpected re-emergence of Najwa, I won't edit the content much...it will be a long story, spanning the period of two months before she left for Arau.
If my calculation was correct, the news of my 'baldness' will reach Kyra in no time. And I was dead correct..there is something in this world that can travel faster than the speed of light, that defies logic and physics...and it happens when women talked among themselves.
Kyra told me not to do it anymore...but nevertheless she acknowledged my 'bold' move (or should a 'bald' move be a more appropriate sentence?)
But in the meantime, I have to stave off ceaseless 'friendly' taunts from all corners. Wan called me a "dragon ball"...while Amir referred to me as a "skinhead".
I only hope my hair regains its crowning glory as soon as possible...
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
A dream too far...
I didn't get enough sleep last night....so this entry won't be long. I'll put a stop when my energy runs out.
Me, Amir, Hafiz and Fahmi played Football Manager throughout the night. It's mind-boggling to think that the over-aged teenagers like us, with me being the youngest, still play this addictive football game. We hardly find a good time together these days...so this is an excellent chance to make up for the lost time.
Fahmi is still his former self...he didn't change a bit. He reminds me of our younger days...when we browsed through daily life together. No worries...only happiness and excitement along the way. We made mistakes then...but things happened. It's no use crying over a spill milk.
Five years is just too short. I wonder how the elected President of America could ever achieve anything in that short period of time. Time just flies pass us without we ever realizing it.
When I was a small child, I looked upon the sky whenever a plane flew passed over my head. I wondered, then, when will I ever be on that plane? Do I stand a slightest chance, to experience the sensation of flying? If I do, what would I be then? A scientist...travelling by air to meet fellow scientists overseas? A doctorate student on board to attending an international conference?
When I first stepped up onto a plane, I ignored all the warning signs. I didn't turn off my hand phone. I didn't tighten the seat belt when the plane was about to take off (I didn't even put the belt on) When the plane was just seconds in mid air, I looked down to the vast land under me, and muttered to myself " Sorry...my younger me. I have failed you"
My only dream is to serve the nation. I'll begin by caring for myself, taking good care of my family and my immediate relatives, and reaching out for the poor and the needy as far as I can. I'd like to inspire people...to instill confidence in them, helping them realize their true potential so they could use it to the maximum effect. But judging from my current condition, maybe it's a task too tall. A dream too far.
I think I need my rest now. It's been an incredible weekend. Maybe a weekend to remember.
Dec 7, 2009
Sunday
2:49 a.m
Me, Amir, Hafiz and Fahmi played Football Manager throughout the night. It's mind-boggling to think that the over-aged teenagers like us, with me being the youngest, still play this addictive football game. We hardly find a good time together these days...so this is an excellent chance to make up for the lost time.
Fahmi is still his former self...he didn't change a bit. He reminds me of our younger days...when we browsed through daily life together. No worries...only happiness and excitement along the way. We made mistakes then...but things happened. It's no use crying over a spill milk.
Five years is just too short. I wonder how the elected President of America could ever achieve anything in that short period of time. Time just flies pass us without we ever realizing it.
When I was a small child, I looked upon the sky whenever a plane flew passed over my head. I wondered, then, when will I ever be on that plane? Do I stand a slightest chance, to experience the sensation of flying? If I do, what would I be then? A scientist...travelling by air to meet fellow scientists overseas? A doctorate student on board to attending an international conference?
When I first stepped up onto a plane, I ignored all the warning signs. I didn't turn off my hand phone. I didn't tighten the seat belt when the plane was about to take off (I didn't even put the belt on) When the plane was just seconds in mid air, I looked down to the vast land under me, and muttered to myself " Sorry...my younger me. I have failed you"
My only dream is to serve the nation. I'll begin by caring for myself, taking good care of my family and my immediate relatives, and reaching out for the poor and the needy as far as I can. I'd like to inspire people...to instill confidence in them, helping them realize their true potential so they could use it to the maximum effect. But judging from my current condition, maybe it's a task too tall. A dream too far.
I think I need my rest now. It's been an incredible weekend. Maybe a weekend to remember.
Dec 7, 2009
Sunday
2:49 a.m
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The Accuracy Of Death...
What if you know when will you die? If the exact date of your death was told in advance, what will you do just before death come calling?
When I was diagnosed with some kind of disease a year ago, I thought it was just a minor issue. Nothing to worry about...I can continue living my life. Read books, watch movies, play badminton, brush up my squash skills, eat extra meals, surf internet, sleep, dream, sleep again, and work part-time.
Since I was a small child, I was blessed with a great health. I never really contracted major disease, a stark contrast with my sister. Before she turned 7, she was diagnosed with blood cancer (popularly known as Leukemia). Mom and dad tried hard to save her, they gave out their best. One day, an anonymous guy miraculously saved her through blood donor, but mom and dad failed to find that godsend guy. We could never thank him enough for his deed.
When I was in secondary school, sister was caught with another fatal disease. This time around, her lung was found to be filled with water. She had this bad habit of bathing at night. She suffered terribly...and she kept on fighting to survive. She told us she felt very sharp pain whenever Doctor gave her injection...she was running out of tears to cry. She managed to survived this fear eventually...and was discharged off.
From that point onwards, she never really contracted any major disease.
When I was in standard 1 or 2, I accidentally cut my finger. The wound was quite deep, but I hid my hand behind my back, and asked permission from my teacher to go to toilet. On the way out, I showed my bleeding finger to Busra, and she was rightly shocked. I washed my bleeding finger with clean water. Although it wasn’t bleeding profusely, the blood just can’t stop flowing out, and I started to feel out of consciousness. I sat down beside the pipe...and almost fall asleep.
I cheated death on more than one occasions. One day, somewhere in 1993 or 1994, in the middle of a heavy downpour, I recklessly crossed a road. A speeding car came just within a striking distance...even to this day, I still can’t believe my luck. I’d be dead for sure if luck wasn’t on my side that fateful day. And I attributed that luck to God, He still wanted me to continue living and repent whatever sins I’ve committed.
There was one time, I rode my father’s bike so fast in the middle of the night. It was early 2004, and out of nowhere, there’s a voice in my head telling me that something was wrong at the end of the road. I continued speeding while trying very hard to figure what my unconscious mind is trying to tell me. To my horror, the road split into two directions, forming a junction. And there was a river on both sides of the roads. I applied the break just seconds before the splitting road, and it saved my life. I lost control of my bike, went to the ground...but fortunately I escaped that incident injury-free.
There were numerous other occasions where I should be fatally injured...but somehow I managed to dodge all the bad luck. To this date, my bones are never been broken...I keep my frail body in the best condition. I exercised, keep my diet in check, regulated my sleeping hours, and keep my brain recharged by reading good materials. All these are crucial to maintain a good health.
But there were times when things are out of your control. Some ripples turned into a massive tidal wave, a spark turned into a raging fire...these kinds of things disturbed us endlessly. It disrupted our pattern...and we morphed into something else. Something unthinkable...out of this world. It forced us to be somebody else...even thinking of doing foolish thing.I know the matter of life and death is in God’s hand...but I’d be happy if I could live past 60. That time was enough to accomplish my dreams...
Written somewhere around 2007, I found this piece stacked alongside my other unpublished articles in my hard disk.
Inspired by a Japanese movie with the same title (which I never watched), I began writing...but it sent chill to my spine whenever I went through this piece. The thought of suicide was very close to my mind...all the things that surrounded me during that period seemeed too much for me to stomach.
Thank God nothing happened...
When I was diagnosed with some kind of disease a year ago, I thought it was just a minor issue. Nothing to worry about...I can continue living my life. Read books, watch movies, play badminton, brush up my squash skills, eat extra meals, surf internet, sleep, dream, sleep again, and work part-time.
Since I was a small child, I was blessed with a great health. I never really contracted major disease, a stark contrast with my sister. Before she turned 7, she was diagnosed with blood cancer (popularly known as Leukemia). Mom and dad tried hard to save her, they gave out their best. One day, an anonymous guy miraculously saved her through blood donor, but mom and dad failed to find that godsend guy. We could never thank him enough for his deed.
When I was in secondary school, sister was caught with another fatal disease. This time around, her lung was found to be filled with water. She had this bad habit of bathing at night. She suffered terribly...and she kept on fighting to survive. She told us she felt very sharp pain whenever Doctor gave her injection...she was running out of tears to cry. She managed to survived this fear eventually...and was discharged off.
From that point onwards, she never really contracted any major disease.
When I was in standard 1 or 2, I accidentally cut my finger. The wound was quite deep, but I hid my hand behind my back, and asked permission from my teacher to go to toilet. On the way out, I showed my bleeding finger to Busra, and she was rightly shocked. I washed my bleeding finger with clean water. Although it wasn’t bleeding profusely, the blood just can’t stop flowing out, and I started to feel out of consciousness. I sat down beside the pipe...and almost fall asleep.
I cheated death on more than one occasions. One day, somewhere in 1993 or 1994, in the middle of a heavy downpour, I recklessly crossed a road. A speeding car came just within a striking distance...even to this day, I still can’t believe my luck. I’d be dead for sure if luck wasn’t on my side that fateful day. And I attributed that luck to God, He still wanted me to continue living and repent whatever sins I’ve committed.
There was one time, I rode my father’s bike so fast in the middle of the night. It was early 2004, and out of nowhere, there’s a voice in my head telling me that something was wrong at the end of the road. I continued speeding while trying very hard to figure what my unconscious mind is trying to tell me. To my horror, the road split into two directions, forming a junction. And there was a river on both sides of the roads. I applied the break just seconds before the splitting road, and it saved my life. I lost control of my bike, went to the ground...but fortunately I escaped that incident injury-free.
There were numerous other occasions where I should be fatally injured...but somehow I managed to dodge all the bad luck. To this date, my bones are never been broken...I keep my frail body in the best condition. I exercised, keep my diet in check, regulated my sleeping hours, and keep my brain recharged by reading good materials. All these are crucial to maintain a good health.
But there were times when things are out of your control. Some ripples turned into a massive tidal wave, a spark turned into a raging fire...these kinds of things disturbed us endlessly. It disrupted our pattern...and we morphed into something else. Something unthinkable...out of this world. It forced us to be somebody else...even thinking of doing foolish thing.I know the matter of life and death is in God’s hand...but I’d be happy if I could live past 60. That time was enough to accomplish my dreams...
Written somewhere around 2007, I found this piece stacked alongside my other unpublished articles in my hard disk.
Inspired by a Japanese movie with the same title (which I never watched), I began writing...but it sent chill to my spine whenever I went through this piece. The thought of suicide was very close to my mind...all the things that surrounded me during that period seemeed too much for me to stomach.
Thank God nothing happened...
Friday, November 27, 2009
On Second Thought, Maybe No...
I was awakened by a loud ring coming from my newly acquired mobile phone.
A locally made brand, CSL stands for Commitment, Service and Loyalty (not Chua Soi Lek) It was bought by my brother from the money made available by my father. I don't even have enough money to buy my own handset...
The call was from Ah Cat...deliberately trying to reach me that early afternoon. She taught me some Hakka dialects the other day...as well as some basic Mandarin. Kyra taught me some in the past...simple words such as Ni, Pu Yao and such. Ah Yong meanwhile, had been giving me some ridiculous Chinese terms such as kannasai, kanine, lao yi, and ah kua.
China is going to rule the world in the near future...so it is imperative to pick up some basic understanding of Mandarin. The west would be fast becoming the thing of the past...our future lies in the east.
(As of 2008, US GDP stood at US$14.2 trillion, Japan at US$4.9 trillion and China was worth US$4.3 trillion. Judging from the stagnant state of Japan's economy and China's robust growth, it's not the matter of if, it's the matter of when China will overtake Japan as the second largest economy in the world. In 30 years or less, China will replace USA as the world’s superpower...at least economically)
Later I found out Ah Cat was trying to ask me out for a lunch together. It seemed like a good idea.
The last time I ventured for shopping together with friends, it was a distant time ago. It was like a fading memory now...
I am frequently on my own. Almost all the time, I think about myself, cared for my own problems. I was totally absorbed in my own world. I don't need friends to survive...I lived alone for nearly one and a half year during that "dark" period. I read lots of books to divert my attention away from that painful feeling...it had been gripping my emotion ever since.
My mind was occupied by the same memories that never seem to fade away...it's been playing again and again like a track from a tape...as if they were trying to mock me. My heart was riveted by a constant fear and anger...it never seem to subside. These have been going on and on inside me until now...
When emptiness filled your heart and soul, you'd lost any bearing of life. When your heart dies, your mind would follow through...
I need to end this deadly cycle once and for all. Going out with a bunch of underage teenagers seems like not a very bad idea. Of course they are raw and young...and have little understanding of life. They have no clue what is waiting for them in the horizon...
"KFC…is it alright?"
"Movie on Monday...is it ok? That 3D cartoon quite interesting…what's the title?"
"Let's buy some snacks!"
And the most bizarre of them is...
"You want to follow us to Genting? 2D 1N...RM 80 only!"
Genting? By themselves? What the...? Kids nowadays are so advanced...
Despite my tendency to be alone, I'm strictly not a puritan. Nor do I believe or follow the puritan attitude of life. Life should be enjoyed as it is. Having a bit of fun isn't dangerous to one's future...as long as we could strike a right balance. I have endured many challenges...none of it succeeded in making me weaker in any aspects. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
On second thought...breezing through the shopping complex with a bunch of Chinese underage teenagers? Fuck hell no...I still have a conscience. I could well be mistakenly viewed as a child trafficker. I am better off sleeping...
A locally made brand, CSL stands for Commitment, Service and Loyalty (not Chua Soi Lek) It was bought by my brother from the money made available by my father. I don't even have enough money to buy my own handset...
The call was from Ah Cat...deliberately trying to reach me that early afternoon. She taught me some Hakka dialects the other day...as well as some basic Mandarin. Kyra taught me some in the past...simple words such as Ni, Pu Yao and such. Ah Yong meanwhile, had been giving me some ridiculous Chinese terms such as kannasai, kanine, lao yi, and ah kua.
China is going to rule the world in the near future...so it is imperative to pick up some basic understanding of Mandarin. The west would be fast becoming the thing of the past...our future lies in the east.
(As of 2008, US GDP stood at US$14.2 trillion, Japan at US$4.9 trillion and China was worth US$4.3 trillion. Judging from the stagnant state of Japan's economy and China's robust growth, it's not the matter of if, it's the matter of when China will overtake Japan as the second largest economy in the world. In 30 years or less, China will replace USA as the world’s superpower...at least economically)
Later I found out Ah Cat was trying to ask me out for a lunch together. It seemed like a good idea.
The last time I ventured for shopping together with friends, it was a distant time ago. It was like a fading memory now...
I am frequently on my own. Almost all the time, I think about myself, cared for my own problems. I was totally absorbed in my own world. I don't need friends to survive...I lived alone for nearly one and a half year during that "dark" period. I read lots of books to divert my attention away from that painful feeling...it had been gripping my emotion ever since.
My mind was occupied by the same memories that never seem to fade away...it's been playing again and again like a track from a tape...as if they were trying to mock me. My heart was riveted by a constant fear and anger...it never seem to subside. These have been going on and on inside me until now...
When emptiness filled your heart and soul, you'd lost any bearing of life. When your heart dies, your mind would follow through...
I need to end this deadly cycle once and for all. Going out with a bunch of underage teenagers seems like not a very bad idea. Of course they are raw and young...and have little understanding of life. They have no clue what is waiting for them in the horizon...
"KFC…is it alright?"
"Movie on Monday...is it ok? That 3D cartoon quite interesting…what's the title?"
"Let's buy some snacks!"
And the most bizarre of them is...
"You want to follow us to Genting? 2D 1N...RM 80 only!"
Genting? By themselves? What the...? Kids nowadays are so advanced...
Despite my tendency to be alone, I'm strictly not a puritan. Nor do I believe or follow the puritan attitude of life. Life should be enjoyed as it is. Having a bit of fun isn't dangerous to one's future...as long as we could strike a right balance. I have endured many challenges...none of it succeeded in making me weaker in any aspects. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
On second thought...breezing through the shopping complex with a bunch of Chinese underage teenagers? Fuck hell no...I still have a conscience. I could well be mistakenly viewed as a child trafficker. I am better off sleeping...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Resurface?
I've been tinkering with the idea of floating my blog again...after a prolong hibernation period.
All this while, I gave Pancasara his much needed rest. He's fully recharged now...eager to face the new world, with a new belief.
I don't want to rush him back too soon...maybe after a couple more postings, he'd be fully ready.
Face your fear. No excuses.
All this while, I gave Pancasara his much needed rest. He's fully recharged now...eager to face the new world, with a new belief.
I don't want to rush him back too soon...maybe after a couple more postings, he'd be fully ready.
Face your fear. No excuses.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A visit from Wa
When I came back from Jitra, I noticed a car was parked just outside my house's compound. I knew straightaway that Wa had arrived.
I tried to find a decent and cheap pen drive in Jitra. The shops were still closed, leaving me with little option than to opt for a Chinese shop. They priced the new Kingston Traveler 4 Gig at RM35.
I asked Ijal whether this ranged between a reasonable price...and he thought it was. But I decided against buying it after noticing a KFC outlet offers my sought after WiFi access. WiFi is such a rarity in Jitra...unlike in Penang.
Wa...or Wa Doyah as my mom preferred to call her, is my mother's only sister. My late grandma married twice...and my mother came from grandma’s second marriage. They shared the same mother with different father. Step-sister...or whatever they called it. But mother loved her sister fondly.
Wa brought along her son. Her son is married to the niece of the famed Dato' Dr Haron Din. I was still confused why the heck my family branches were all somehow connected to PAS' top echelon. PAS deputy president, Nasharuddin Mat Isa is married to one of my aunt (not my real aunt...but somehow closely related) Ustaz Nasha regularly delivered Hari Raya sermons in my village's Musollah.
I dreaded to think if, I repeat if, I am ordained to marry this Islamic type lady in the future. Coming from a PAS' loyalist surrounding, it’s a wonder how I deviated from the tradition.
But my cousin is moderately attired. No head-to-toe covering. I am not against 'Burqa' type of lady...I'm against 'Burqa' follower who thinks they are more pious and more Islamic than the rest of us. Their behavior smacks of holier than thou attitude...which I hate a lot.
I took a bath, prepared myself and sat around them. I listened carefully to every details of their conversation. It was a joy listening to people who spoke the same native language as mine.
Outsiders often mislead that northern people speak one same dialect. It was not.
Wa and my mother were hailed from Perlis. Their dialect was a bit different from us Kedahan's, although my mother successfully assimilated through her long stay here. I was born in Kangar, but I regard Kedah as my native state, Perlis as my second state, Malacca and Penang as my third and fourth state respectively.
I remember father once chided my mother for calling a catapult (or slingshot...whatever they call it) as teghede. Father told mother that the correct term was teghebe. Later, I discovered that catapult was sometimes referred to as teghede in Perlis. Mother was not wrong after all.
There was a time in the past when I was in my relatives' village in the rural part of Arau. One of the elders there greeted me
"Mekala balik...kelih dok...?"
It sounded funny in Kedah...but that's the beauty of our dialect.
Father told one of my cute cuddly cousins to call me Pak Ngah. I wondered why Pak Ngah? Why not Pak Chaq? After all, I am the eldest.
It was then I remembered the lanky Aslan, my other cousins in Langkawi. Even though he is younger than me (turning 17 this year...living alone in Langkawi as his father is living out of retirement in Kangar. Drives around with Waja...quite a flamboyant boy) but he is the son of my mother's eldest brother. He is the rightful owner of the title Pak Chaq.
We had a simple lunch together moments afterwards. I seated with my father, uncle and my younger brother. The weather was good...it was a cloudy afternoon. I listened tentatively as father and uncle chatted away, encompassing various issues that were close to their heart.
I don't know when this kind of moment will happen again. Maybe I should spend more time at home...I've been away far too long...
I tried to find a decent and cheap pen drive in Jitra. The shops were still closed, leaving me with little option than to opt for a Chinese shop. They priced the new Kingston Traveler 4 Gig at RM35.
I asked Ijal whether this ranged between a reasonable price...and he thought it was. But I decided against buying it after noticing a KFC outlet offers my sought after WiFi access. WiFi is such a rarity in Jitra...unlike in Penang.
Wa...or Wa Doyah as my mom preferred to call her, is my mother's only sister. My late grandma married twice...and my mother came from grandma’s second marriage. They shared the same mother with different father. Step-sister...or whatever they called it. But mother loved her sister fondly.
Wa brought along her son. Her son is married to the niece of the famed Dato' Dr Haron Din. I was still confused why the heck my family branches were all somehow connected to PAS' top echelon. PAS deputy president, Nasharuddin Mat Isa is married to one of my aunt (not my real aunt...but somehow closely related) Ustaz Nasha regularly delivered Hari Raya sermons in my village's Musollah.
I dreaded to think if, I repeat if, I am ordained to marry this Islamic type lady in the future. Coming from a PAS' loyalist surrounding, it’s a wonder how I deviated from the tradition.
But my cousin is moderately attired. No head-to-toe covering. I am not against 'Burqa' type of lady...I'm against 'Burqa' follower who thinks they are more pious and more Islamic than the rest of us. Their behavior smacks of holier than thou attitude...which I hate a lot.
I took a bath, prepared myself and sat around them. I listened carefully to every details of their conversation. It was a joy listening to people who spoke the same native language as mine.
Outsiders often mislead that northern people speak one same dialect. It was not.
Wa and my mother were hailed from Perlis. Their dialect was a bit different from us Kedahan's, although my mother successfully assimilated through her long stay here. I was born in Kangar, but I regard Kedah as my native state, Perlis as my second state, Malacca and Penang as my third and fourth state respectively.
I remember father once chided my mother for calling a catapult (or slingshot...whatever they call it) as teghede. Father told mother that the correct term was teghebe. Later, I discovered that catapult was sometimes referred to as teghede in Perlis. Mother was not wrong after all.
There was a time in the past when I was in my relatives' village in the rural part of Arau. One of the elders there greeted me
"Mekala balik...kelih dok...?"
It sounded funny in Kedah...but that's the beauty of our dialect.
Father told one of my cute cuddly cousins to call me Pak Ngah. I wondered why Pak Ngah? Why not Pak Chaq? After all, I am the eldest.
It was then I remembered the lanky Aslan, my other cousins in Langkawi. Even though he is younger than me (turning 17 this year...living alone in Langkawi as his father is living out of retirement in Kangar. Drives around with Waja...quite a flamboyant boy) but he is the son of my mother's eldest brother. He is the rightful owner of the title Pak Chaq.
We had a simple lunch together moments afterwards. I seated with my father, uncle and my younger brother. The weather was good...it was a cloudy afternoon. I listened tentatively as father and uncle chatted away, encompassing various issues that were close to their heart.
I don't know when this kind of moment will happen again. Maybe I should spend more time at home...I've been away far too long...
Monday, October 12, 2009
Will You Come Tomorrow?
"Will you come tomorrow?" asks 16-year old Ah Cat.
I have no idea whether that is a question or a request.
For what is certain, I have works to do tomorrow. So I definitely couldn't come...even if I wanted to.
The first time I met Ah Cat, I have a mixed first impression on her. Underneath her dry personality, she looked comfortable with herself. And she looked at me as though I was an alien thrown out from the faraway outer space to live with human.
Later I found out that she is fascinated by my supposedly 'big eyes'. There were some people in the past that said I owned a pair of big eyes...although I didn't quite believe them. A senior in my former school once asked me to borrow my eyes...as if I could unplug it from my eye-socket at my own freewill.
Lai Kuan occasionally said so also.
I still remember Najwa once said I have a pair of big and curvy eyes...or in short, pretty eyes. It was a rare occasion to receive a compliment from her...and I didn't know how to appreciate it. But that was the time when the mantra "till death do us apart" still persisted among us.
My eyes are normal...whatever they may say.
I read somewhere that people with big eyes are probably 'more intelligent than average'. So do people with a large forehead. I am an average people...so I don’t have big eyes (I don't know if my line of logic is correct here) For what is certain, big eyes and big forehead don't guarantee success unless we work hard towards it.
Ah Bie, Ah Cat best friend, thought I was a Chinese. A lot of people share that misconception nowadays...something that was unprecedented in the past. Maybe because I mingled more with Chinese now compared with the past. A good friend of mine even said I looked like Yassin Brothers. Weird. Does that mean I'm a bit of an Arabic-looking guy? Great...now I can join PAS. Yess. Masuk syurga.
Big eyes are not a characteristic of a typical Chinese. If you say I have big eyes, and at the same time trumpeting that I looked like a Chinese, that's a contradiction in itself. I can't have big eyes AND looked like a Chinese at the same time. One of it must be wrong. Or both of it could be wrong.
Ah Bie asked whether I was of mixed parentage. I am a true-blue authentic Malay. My mother is Malay. My father is Malay. I knew little about my grandfather and my grandmother...but they must be purely Malay. I am fully Malay at heart and soul. And I’m very proud of that.
Ah Cat was left teary-eyed after a strong telling off from that lousy Lao Yi. It was harsh...considering she is just a teenager. She's just too young. Ah Bie tried hard to console her...she even pleaded with me to come tomorrow to keep Ah Cat accompanied.
I hope Ah Cat remains strong. I began to love her personality. Childish and cute...although she looked a bit "messy".
I won't come tomorrow...or the day after...but I'll definitely come the day after that...
I have no idea whether that is a question or a request.
For what is certain, I have works to do tomorrow. So I definitely couldn't come...even if I wanted to.
The first time I met Ah Cat, I have a mixed first impression on her. Underneath her dry personality, she looked comfortable with herself. And she looked at me as though I was an alien thrown out from the faraway outer space to live with human.
Later I found out that she is fascinated by my supposedly 'big eyes'. There were some people in the past that said I owned a pair of big eyes...although I didn't quite believe them. A senior in my former school once asked me to borrow my eyes...as if I could unplug it from my eye-socket at my own freewill.
Lai Kuan occasionally said so also.
I still remember Najwa once said I have a pair of big and curvy eyes...or in short, pretty eyes. It was a rare occasion to receive a compliment from her...and I didn't know how to appreciate it. But that was the time when the mantra "till death do us apart" still persisted among us.
My eyes are normal...whatever they may say.
I read somewhere that people with big eyes are probably 'more intelligent than average'. So do people with a large forehead. I am an average people...so I don’t have big eyes (I don't know if my line of logic is correct here) For what is certain, big eyes and big forehead don't guarantee success unless we work hard towards it.
Ah Bie, Ah Cat best friend, thought I was a Chinese. A lot of people share that misconception nowadays...something that was unprecedented in the past. Maybe because I mingled more with Chinese now compared with the past. A good friend of mine even said I looked like Yassin Brothers. Weird. Does that mean I'm a bit of an Arabic-looking guy? Great...now I can join PAS. Yess. Masuk syurga.
Big eyes are not a characteristic of a typical Chinese. If you say I have big eyes, and at the same time trumpeting that I looked like a Chinese, that's a contradiction in itself. I can't have big eyes AND looked like a Chinese at the same time. One of it must be wrong. Or both of it could be wrong.
Ah Bie asked whether I was of mixed parentage. I am a true-blue authentic Malay. My mother is Malay. My father is Malay. I knew little about my grandfather and my grandmother...but they must be purely Malay. I am fully Malay at heart and soul. And I’m very proud of that.
Ah Cat was left teary-eyed after a strong telling off from that lousy Lao Yi. It was harsh...considering she is just a teenager. She's just too young. Ah Bie tried hard to console her...she even pleaded with me to come tomorrow to keep Ah Cat accompanied.
I hope Ah Cat remains strong. I began to love her personality. Childish and cute...although she looked a bit "messy".
I won't come tomorrow...or the day after...but I'll definitely come the day after that...
Monday, October 5, 2009
I knew you played Futsal...
Just outside the management office, I meet Wani. We didn’t have any conversation for about a month. She is just coming back from her long Raya holiday.
The last time we spoke, she commented about me gaining some weight. Just a few days later, she was bewildered by my sudden change of appearance.
“How come now abang look so skinny thin…?"
Weight is not an issue for me actually…man just doesn’t care much about that. Depending on my activity, I might gain some incredible extra pounds when there are no badminton/squash games…and I could shed so much weight when it is otherwise.
And I do have a strict control over my food intake…for economic and health reasons.
“My legs are aching…we played Futsal last night…Saiful was also there…”
“I know…he told me. He said he was surprised to see you turning up”
He told Wani? No wonder. They are in a romantic relationship now. Saiful knew my name through her…that explains why he could spontaneously call my name when he lofted a beautifully-crafted cross for me to convert it into a goal.
All that I managed to do was to get a comical slice touch of the ball, before it rolled out for a throw in. I am absolutely a legend for squandering that kind of chances.
We talk about Futsal…before the topic sways towards Kyra.
“Abang still message Kyra?"
“No…not for a long period. Why?”
“Me too…she rarely messages me now. I wonder how she is doing right now…”
“She’ll be ok…”
Her : ..............
Me : ...............
“Are you two, in any way possible, a declared partner?”
“No…we never declared…”
“Oh…I see…”
Me : ..............
Her : .............
As I’m about to leave the scene (there is nothing much to talk about anyway…) Wani asks me to stay for a while.
She looks hesitated. Something is holding her from revealing something to me. I don’t know what it is…but I think it is about me.
I look at Wani. No doubt she’s a beautiful young girl. She has flawless skin…not even a blemish spotted on her face…it is a near perfection. Mak cik Ani describes her as a “stunning young beauty”. She even tries to match her with one of her friend…much to my amusement. But I never told this to her.
But personally, I think Kyra is prettier. And cuter. But Najwa was the cutest.
They are bosom friends. Kyra told everything to Wani. And I told everything to Pancasara. Wani may give some insights to Kyra…but Pancasara never give any advice to me. He just stood there…as a good listener.
“Ever watched Saiful play Futsal?”
“Never…but he plays football regularly…since his younger days. How was he?”
“Quite awesome…you should see him in action. Good dribbling, brilliant ball control…I think he tops the scoring chart last night…”
“Is it? He once injured his knee…had just recovered from it…”
Wani looks excited to hear more about Saiful. She seems to forget what she's going to tell me earlier. We end up chatting for another few minutes...before Wani realizes it is about time for her to go.
That brief conversation leaves me with more questions than answers...
The last time we spoke, she commented about me gaining some weight. Just a few days later, she was bewildered by my sudden change of appearance.
“How come now abang look so skinny thin…?"
Weight is not an issue for me actually…man just doesn’t care much about that. Depending on my activity, I might gain some incredible extra pounds when there are no badminton/squash games…and I could shed so much weight when it is otherwise.
And I do have a strict control over my food intake…for economic and health reasons.
“My legs are aching…we played Futsal last night…Saiful was also there…”
“I know…he told me. He said he was surprised to see you turning up”
He told Wani? No wonder. They are in a romantic relationship now. Saiful knew my name through her…that explains why he could spontaneously call my name when he lofted a beautifully-crafted cross for me to convert it into a goal.
All that I managed to do was to get a comical slice touch of the ball, before it rolled out for a throw in. I am absolutely a legend for squandering that kind of chances.
We talk about Futsal…before the topic sways towards Kyra.
“Abang still message Kyra?"
“No…not for a long period. Why?”
“Me too…she rarely messages me now. I wonder how she is doing right now…”
“She’ll be ok…”
Her : ..............
Me : ...............
“Are you two, in any way possible, a declared partner?”
“No…we never declared…”
“Oh…I see…”
Me : ..............
Her : .............
As I’m about to leave the scene (there is nothing much to talk about anyway…) Wani asks me to stay for a while.
She looks hesitated. Something is holding her from revealing something to me. I don’t know what it is…but I think it is about me.
I look at Wani. No doubt she’s a beautiful young girl. She has flawless skin…not even a blemish spotted on her face…it is a near perfection. Mak cik Ani describes her as a “stunning young beauty”. She even tries to match her with one of her friend…much to my amusement. But I never told this to her.
But personally, I think Kyra is prettier. And cuter. But Najwa was the cutest.
They are bosom friends. Kyra told everything to Wani. And I told everything to Pancasara. Wani may give some insights to Kyra…but Pancasara never give any advice to me. He just stood there…as a good listener.
“Ever watched Saiful play Futsal?”
“Never…but he plays football regularly…since his younger days. How was he?”
“Quite awesome…you should see him in action. Good dribbling, brilliant ball control…I think he tops the scoring chart last night…”
“Is it? He once injured his knee…had just recovered from it…”
Wani looks excited to hear more about Saiful. She seems to forget what she's going to tell me earlier. We end up chatting for another few minutes...before Wani realizes it is about time for her to go.
That brief conversation leaves me with more questions than answers...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Back From Oblivion...
I decided to come back from my semi-retirement oblivion... :)
It's been a long and refreshing rest. Sorted few things out...but some pressing issues ( lingering and nagging issues...of course) were left unattended. Maybe I'll chew it all over in the next couple of weeks.
I revised my whole life so far...revisited some nostalgic places that were close to my heart...and read droves of inspiring books. Re-read the whole postings of my blog (including drafts...and corrected some of the obvious grammar mistakes. Need to continuously brush up my deteriorating grammar)
All this while, I realised I was not being honest enough about things. Need to change on that. And I delved into one good blog...written by someone who's been blogging since she was like, sixteen. (When I was sixteen, Internet was my farthest dream. How time had evolved since then...)
And I also decided to pull Pancasara from public view momentarily. He too, I think, needs a bit of a rest :)
It's a new beginning...I'll savour this moment for a while... :)
It's been a long and refreshing rest. Sorted few things out...but some pressing issues ( lingering and nagging issues...of course) were left unattended. Maybe I'll chew it all over in the next couple of weeks.
I revised my whole life so far...revisited some nostalgic places that were close to my heart...and read droves of inspiring books. Re-read the whole postings of my blog (including drafts...and corrected some of the obvious grammar mistakes. Need to continuously brush up my deteriorating grammar)
All this while, I realised I was not being honest enough about things. Need to change on that. And I delved into one good blog...written by someone who's been blogging since she was like, sixteen. (When I was sixteen, Internet was my farthest dream. How time had evolved since then...)
And I also decided to pull Pancasara from public view momentarily. He too, I think, needs a bit of a rest :)
It's a new beginning...I'll savour this moment for a while... :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
My Life So Far...
I want to write on so many things...but time constrains proved too much a hindrance for me. I am a bad orator...at times, I am at lost for words to explain something...deep silence is a usual phenomenon when someone is having a conversation with me.
And even though my writing is average at best, I expressed myself better this way. People who know me through my writings understand me better compared to those who had lived with me through the years. Others liked to label me as a 'very quite person'...although I don't actually agree with their view.
I've set my birthday date as my final posting before I embark on a long vacation...to soothe my heart and soul after a long and turbulent year. There are many hurdles ahead...I've cleared some of the tough ones, and hope to overcome the few that are left standing by year-end. Don't trouble troubles until the troubles trouble you.
And when the going gets tough, I'll get going...no matter what the circumstances are. Hope I have the required strength to last all these...
And even though my writing is average at best, I expressed myself better this way. People who know me through my writings understand me better compared to those who had lived with me through the years. Others liked to label me as a 'very quite person'...although I don't actually agree with their view.
I've set my birthday date as my final posting before I embark on a long vacation...to soothe my heart and soul after a long and turbulent year. There are many hurdles ahead...I've cleared some of the tough ones, and hope to overcome the few that are left standing by year-end. Don't trouble troubles until the troubles trouble you.
And when the going gets tough, I'll get going...no matter what the circumstances are. Hope I have the required strength to last all these...
Monday, July 27, 2009
Another Sunday...
1. I was asked by Ah Bee to stay back for work until 6 p.m. It almost ruined my day.
2. I had planned earlier to watch the FAM cup match between USM staff and Tambun Tulang FC. Kamarul was already there by 5 p.m. Shah and company were stretching their muscles inside the squash court...but I'd already told Shah I couldn't make it.
3. Arrived in USM's Stadium around 6.30 p.m. The match was still on...I could only catch few glimpses of the play from afar. Seats inside the stadium were full...the useless cheerleaders were making stupid noises from the main stand. I wondered where were the "boo boys"?
4. Witnessed the first goal. After some comical defending, USM staff conceded the first goal. 1-0 down. I saw some spectators started to leave. I slowly inched towards the squash court. I hope Shah is still there.
5. A rousing roars broke out from the grandstand. A goal was scored...but I didn't see the goal. Shah was watching the match outside the court. He looked surprise to see me. He told me the goal was scored from a direct free kick after a foul on a USM staff player. They levelled the score in less than 5 minutes.
6. The match ended in a stalemate. USM staff have a real chance of being promoted into the Premier League should they avoid defeat against Pos Malaysia next week.
7. Shimie, the third year Pharmacy student and Amar, a freshie first year chemistry student was seen playing squash inside. Malik, the PHD-bound student arrived minutes later with Lah.
8. Shimie is clearly a hardworking player. He will chase every ball right to the end. But he is 'mood-driven'...when his mood isn't right, playing with him would be a pure waste of time.
9. Amar, on the other hand, is a charge-up player. Full of energy and determination, he plays with his heart out. But his battling attitude sometimes drives him to be a bit emotional...he would scream out loud whenever he gained a point against his opponent. It was fine with me, but it irked some people.
10. It was decided among us to have another squash session tomorrow. Ah Teng had invited me yesterday to join his dad for badminton tomorrow from 7 p.m- 9 p.m...I don't think I could make it now. Earlier this evening, Darwis personally invited me and Shah to join them in Bayan Baru tomorrow...a marathon 3 hours badminton game until midnight.
11. Hafiz managed to nick the runner-up placing on his debut badminton tournament in Butterworth. He used my racket...I should claimed some of the credits then.
12. And now for the Gold Cup final...I'll support Mexico!
2. I had planned earlier to watch the FAM cup match between USM staff and Tambun Tulang FC. Kamarul was already there by 5 p.m. Shah and company were stretching their muscles inside the squash court...but I'd already told Shah I couldn't make it.
3. Arrived in USM's Stadium around 6.30 p.m. The match was still on...I could only catch few glimpses of the play from afar. Seats inside the stadium were full...the useless cheerleaders were making stupid noises from the main stand. I wondered where were the "boo boys"?
4. Witnessed the first goal. After some comical defending, USM staff conceded the first goal. 1-0 down. I saw some spectators started to leave. I slowly inched towards the squash court. I hope Shah is still there.
5. A rousing roars broke out from the grandstand. A goal was scored...but I didn't see the goal. Shah was watching the match outside the court. He looked surprise to see me. He told me the goal was scored from a direct free kick after a foul on a USM staff player. They levelled the score in less than 5 minutes.
6. The match ended in a stalemate. USM staff have a real chance of being promoted into the Premier League should they avoid defeat against Pos Malaysia next week.
7. Shimie, the third year Pharmacy student and Amar, a freshie first year chemistry student was seen playing squash inside. Malik, the PHD-bound student arrived minutes later with Lah.
8. Shimie is clearly a hardworking player. He will chase every ball right to the end. But he is 'mood-driven'...when his mood isn't right, playing with him would be a pure waste of time.
9. Amar, on the other hand, is a charge-up player. Full of energy and determination, he plays with his heart out. But his battling attitude sometimes drives him to be a bit emotional...he would scream out loud whenever he gained a point against his opponent. It was fine with me, but it irked some people.
10. It was decided among us to have another squash session tomorrow. Ah Teng had invited me yesterday to join his dad for badminton tomorrow from 7 p.m- 9 p.m...I don't think I could make it now. Earlier this evening, Darwis personally invited me and Shah to join them in Bayan Baru tomorrow...a marathon 3 hours badminton game until midnight.
11. Hafiz managed to nick the runner-up placing on his debut badminton tournament in Butterworth. He used my racket...I should claimed some of the credits then.
12. And now for the Gold Cup final...I'll support Mexico!
Monday, July 20, 2009
That "One small step for a man...
...One giant leap for mankind"
Today marks the 40th anniversary of the biggest achievement in humankind history, the landing on the moon. I just watched the ultra high revolution photos of that historic moments...it was breathtaking. It was like watching history unveils in front of your very own eyes.
Thanks to NASA, who is currently streaming the original mission audio on its website in real time. I remember spending extra time on the net in the past trying to rebutt all hoax-claimers who refused to believe that we already landed on the moon. The most popular question (after all the other scientific questions posed were easily rebutted by a team of science enthuasiasts) was
"If it (the moon landing) could be done in the past, why didn't they repeat the same feat now?"
The sole reason is economy...I guess. To send a manned spacelight in this era of economic difficulty to the moon is akin to send our hard-earned money into incinerators. It is a very costly affair. We used to have Concorde, the famed supersonic passenger airliner, in service for nearly 27 years. But Concorde no longer can afford to lose money...and it ceased operations about six years ago.
No Concorde traiblazing the sky of Atlantic ocean nowadays doesn't mean we never had Concorde in the past. The same argument can be applies on human achievements in the form of past monuments...such as pyramids, Taj Mahal, and The Great Wall of China. It is my personal belief that all these historic megastructures could be reconstructed by our modern method...but we still don't have the modern version of Taj Mahal or pyramids. Failure to do so now doesn't mean we never did that in the past.
We have achieved so much...and we want more. I hope Mars landing would become a reality in my lifetime. When I was a small child, I wanted to become an astronomer. But now that dream is out of my reach...I hope one day I'll get the chance to lay freely on meadow overseeing the night sky scattered with stars. That was my ultimate childhood dreams...and I want to fulfill it...
Today marks the 40th anniversary of the biggest achievement in humankind history, the landing on the moon. I just watched the ultra high revolution photos of that historic moments...it was breathtaking. It was like watching history unveils in front of your very own eyes.
Thanks to NASA, who is currently streaming the original mission audio on its website in real time. I remember spending extra time on the net in the past trying to rebutt all hoax-claimers who refused to believe that we already landed on the moon. The most popular question (after all the other scientific questions posed were easily rebutted by a team of science enthuasiasts) was
"If it (the moon landing) could be done in the past, why didn't they repeat the same feat now?"
The sole reason is economy...I guess. To send a manned spacelight in this era of economic difficulty to the moon is akin to send our hard-earned money into incinerators. It is a very costly affair. We used to have Concorde, the famed supersonic passenger airliner, in service for nearly 27 years. But Concorde no longer can afford to lose money...and it ceased operations about six years ago.
No Concorde traiblazing the sky of Atlantic ocean nowadays doesn't mean we never had Concorde in the past. The same argument can be applies on human achievements in the form of past monuments...such as pyramids, Taj Mahal, and The Great Wall of China. It is my personal belief that all these historic megastructures could be reconstructed by our modern method...but we still don't have the modern version of Taj Mahal or pyramids. Failure to do so now doesn't mean we never did that in the past.
We have achieved so much...and we want more. I hope Mars landing would become a reality in my lifetime. When I was a small child, I wanted to become an astronomer. But now that dream is out of my reach...I hope one day I'll get the chance to lay freely on meadow overseeing the night sky scattered with stars. That was my ultimate childhood dreams...and I want to fulfill it...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Another passing day...
1. Arrived very early for work today. Felt rather disappointed to find out no nasi lemak on offer. Took roti bakar instead.
2. Another boring day at work. No workload that requires urgent attention for now. Read The Sun to pass the time.
3. A piece of advertisement at the back page of The Sun caught my eyes. It splashed the Sports Toto draw results. I asked AD what "4+1", "6/52" and all sorts were really about. These things have puzzled me for ages.
4. AD pleasantly took some of his busy time off to provide me with some simple explanations. According to him, "4+1" means 4 digits followed by another number. "6/52" on the other hand means we need to pick up 6 digits out of 52. If Lady Luck was to be on our side, the right combinations could land us the jackpot, which offers the total sum payment of up to RM 5 million.
5. By this time, Su Si and Lai Kuan had already joined us. With a witty smile carved on her face, Su Si took out a piece of paper and began writing a sequence of numbers, starting from 1 to 52. She then cut each of them into tiny pieces and folded it before putting them into a small box.
6. In a rather relaxed manner, Su Si continued her eccentric act. She shook the box gracefully, and randomly picked up the number that came up on top. This was repeated by Lai Kuan and AD. I was amused by all this...they can't be serious. But I was wrong. They were indeed...serious.
7. Finally, they got three different combinations. I was tasked to give the numbers a "blessing" with my "ong" (due to my "baldness" condition, I was considered a lucky charm. Some even called me "monk"...particularly Sabri. But I took all this lightly. I found out Ah Keong had followed my action of going bald)
8. Lai Kuan placed another bet on 4D. In this stringent economic climate, any breath of hope for extra money can drive someone's imagination wild. No way they could land the prize money...they have a greater possibility of being struck by a lightning than hitting the jackpot.
9. Shah asked me for badminton together. I agreed...my off day tomorrow was retracted earlier in the afternoon. So I can't join them tomorrow.
10. There were five of us. We played in Dewan Jubli...located just across the Sungai Nibong Bus Terminal. Shah developed a bruised ankle...this greatly restricted his movements and reduced his agility. But overall it was a fun game.
11. Received a rare phone call from Miri...it was Amir. He just arrived in town. He was posted deep into secluded jungle of Borneo...only accessible by air or by a tiring 8 hours 4-wheels drive. Life was extremely hard for a battling teacher like him.
12. I missed Kyra. I hope she breezed well through her new environment. As for Najwa, I hope she copes well with her new challenge as a teacher.
13. As for my life, it's on a rough patch...and a bit tricky. But it's okay, I'm used to it...
2. Another boring day at work. No workload that requires urgent attention for now. Read The Sun to pass the time.
3. A piece of advertisement at the back page of The Sun caught my eyes. It splashed the Sports Toto draw results. I asked AD what "4+1", "6/52" and all sorts were really about. These things have puzzled me for ages.
4. AD pleasantly took some of his busy time off to provide me with some simple explanations. According to him, "4+1" means 4 digits followed by another number. "6/52" on the other hand means we need to pick up 6 digits out of 52. If Lady Luck was to be on our side, the right combinations could land us the jackpot, which offers the total sum payment of up to RM 5 million.
5. By this time, Su Si and Lai Kuan had already joined us. With a witty smile carved on her face, Su Si took out a piece of paper and began writing a sequence of numbers, starting from 1 to 52. She then cut each of them into tiny pieces and folded it before putting them into a small box.
6. In a rather relaxed manner, Su Si continued her eccentric act. She shook the box gracefully, and randomly picked up the number that came up on top. This was repeated by Lai Kuan and AD. I was amused by all this...they can't be serious. But I was wrong. They were indeed...serious.
7. Finally, they got three different combinations. I was tasked to give the numbers a "blessing" with my "ong" (due to my "baldness" condition, I was considered a lucky charm. Some even called me "monk"...particularly Sabri. But I took all this lightly. I found out Ah Keong had followed my action of going bald)
8. Lai Kuan placed another bet on 4D. In this stringent economic climate, any breath of hope for extra money can drive someone's imagination wild. No way they could land the prize money...they have a greater possibility of being struck by a lightning than hitting the jackpot.
9. Shah asked me for badminton together. I agreed...my off day tomorrow was retracted earlier in the afternoon. So I can't join them tomorrow.
10. There were five of us. We played in Dewan Jubli...located just across the Sungai Nibong Bus Terminal. Shah developed a bruised ankle...this greatly restricted his movements and reduced his agility. But overall it was a fun game.
11. Received a rare phone call from Miri...it was Amir. He just arrived in town. He was posted deep into secluded jungle of Borneo...only accessible by air or by a tiring 8 hours 4-wheels drive. Life was extremely hard for a battling teacher like him.
12. I missed Kyra. I hope she breezed well through her new environment. As for Najwa, I hope she copes well with her new challenge as a teacher.
13. As for my life, it's on a rough patch...and a bit tricky. But it's okay, I'm used to it...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Where to, Pancasara?
It's been almost two years since I set up Pancasara as my official blog. Before this, I blogged through my Friendster's blog. But some problems rose unexpectedly, forcing me to launch Pancasara prematurely on September 27, 2007.
My maiden post was just a simple description on Pancasara. I have a vivid imagination on how Pancasara was going to be structured, it's contents as well as it's direction. No pictures to accompany my posts (although I did inserted some pictures to clarify some of my postings), strictly no self-picture (I remain anonymous up until today) and no political writings.
Although I somehow strayed beyond my self-imposed guidelines sometimes, but Pancasara was still intact. It serves to project my takes on issues, my thoughts and thinking, and my going on with life at the moment. Pancasara is my official "Blogography"...an online version of my diary.
I shutted down Pancarasa temporarily twice...due to some difficult circumstances. I never really publicized Pancasara...even my close friends were kept in the dark over the existance of this blog. So I can write almost about anythings without any worry...no one knows me after all.
The second time I closed down Pancasara was the longest. It put off almost all of my silent readers...although I never knew their exact numbers. Sani once asked me why did I restricted Pancasara's access to outsiders...the question I never really answered. Sidelined by a terrible internet connection and having to endure a difficult period of uncertainty, it did crossed my mind to shut down this blog permanently.
When a certain Nurul Najwa politely asked my permission to view this blog, I decided to once again open Pancasara for public access. I broke up with Najwa almost three years ago...although I never really wanted her to leave. I love her very much after all...once a lover, forever a lover...that was my principle. She kept her silence all this years...shutting off her Friendster's account, changed her mobile number, and left me entirely blank about her well being.
It was a terrible loss...the one that single-handedly changed my life forever. First cut is the deepest...as they say. I did my best to win her heart back...but it never really saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It was love that drove me to react...but the spark of anger drove me to over-react. My over-reaction was too much for her taking...it broke her heart apart into pieces...the pieces that were almost impossible to be together as one again.
When Pancasara once again went public, I wandered around the blogosphere for fun. I accidentally found a stream of exciting blogs...notably Namyz Yuzma, Fatamorgana girlz, and Rizuan...to name a few. What makes them so exciting is the fact that they are the current generation of my much-beloved USM. They blogged freely...sharing their joy and sorrow over the net with their friends. And they turned out to be a very nice lads as well.
I've been thinking about closing down Pancasara for the third time in a row...but was still unsure about it. My new rented house provided no Internet access...and my computer keeps breaking down at crucial moments. Maybe time will decides what's next for Pancasara...
My maiden post was just a simple description on Pancasara. I have a vivid imagination on how Pancasara was going to be structured, it's contents as well as it's direction. No pictures to accompany my posts (although I did inserted some pictures to clarify some of my postings), strictly no self-picture (I remain anonymous up until today) and no political writings.
Although I somehow strayed beyond my self-imposed guidelines sometimes, but Pancasara was still intact. It serves to project my takes on issues, my thoughts and thinking, and my going on with life at the moment. Pancasara is my official "Blogography"...an online version of my diary.
I shutted down Pancarasa temporarily twice...due to some difficult circumstances. I never really publicized Pancasara...even my close friends were kept in the dark over the existance of this blog. So I can write almost about anythings without any worry...no one knows me after all.
The second time I closed down Pancasara was the longest. It put off almost all of my silent readers...although I never knew their exact numbers. Sani once asked me why did I restricted Pancasara's access to outsiders...the question I never really answered. Sidelined by a terrible internet connection and having to endure a difficult period of uncertainty, it did crossed my mind to shut down this blog permanently.
When a certain Nurul Najwa politely asked my permission to view this blog, I decided to once again open Pancasara for public access. I broke up with Najwa almost three years ago...although I never really wanted her to leave. I love her very much after all...once a lover, forever a lover...that was my principle. She kept her silence all this years...shutting off her Friendster's account, changed her mobile number, and left me entirely blank about her well being.
It was a terrible loss...the one that single-handedly changed my life forever. First cut is the deepest...as they say. I did my best to win her heart back...but it never really saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It was love that drove me to react...but the spark of anger drove me to over-react. My over-reaction was too much for her taking...it broke her heart apart into pieces...the pieces that were almost impossible to be together as one again.
When Pancasara once again went public, I wandered around the blogosphere for fun. I accidentally found a stream of exciting blogs...notably Namyz Yuzma, Fatamorgana girlz, and Rizuan...to name a few. What makes them so exciting is the fact that they are the current generation of my much-beloved USM. They blogged freely...sharing their joy and sorrow over the net with their friends. And they turned out to be a very nice lads as well.
I've been thinking about closing down Pancasara for the third time in a row...but was still unsure about it. My new rented house provided no Internet access...and my computer keeps breaking down at crucial moments. Maybe time will decides what's next for Pancasara...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A farewell breakfast
It was a fine morning. I woke up a bit early...around 7.30. I missed the clash between Red Devils and Gunners last night...but from the net, I knew the result went to Devil's favour, a narrow 1-0 win.
Around 8.45, I went to the Restu Cafe. I couldn't remember the last time I've been there. I noticed a reminder sticked to the notice board. It says students were prohibited from any "Scouting" activity. And all students must abide by this law to truly achieved the status of APEX University.
What "Scouting" ? The correct term is "Squatting". And still boasting about achieving APEX status, oh my...
I rarely took breakfast...usually I have "brunch", a cross between 'breakfast' and 'lunch'. I was due to meet someone today. I took nasi lemak with teh tarik. Actually I asked Ashikin for a breakfast together...maybe our last. She still didn't show herself up, so I waited for her at one of the tables.
Ashikin asked for a dinner together a week ago. But due to my packed schedule, the plan had to be shelved temporarily. With her due to depart home tomorrow morning, this breakfast was our last resort to meet for the last time.
A few yards in front, I saw a familiar girl. Eja...my fellow state-mate, whom I first met two years ago. That day, she narrowly escaped a fatal accident because of her negligence. I told her to be extra careful in the future...maybe she heeded my advice well then. She sat in the opposite direction, so she didn't notice me.
A fairly fine morning was fast turning into a sombre one. A mild rain showered the area. There was not many people around...an array of empty tables could be spotted easily. I hate farewell in whatever forms...but we must admit, for every beginning, there must be an ending.
Ashikin arrived moments later.
"Why bought breakfast before me? I'll pay for you..." She said while smiling.
"It's ok...I'm starving already..."
"What last night? More like this morning to me...hehe"
"Sad to leave USM?"
"A mixed feeling...but I won't be a student anymore...sad la..."
We had a light and cheerful chat before I swayed the topic of conversation towards Fuad. Fuad is her boyfriend. But I heard nasty rumours that they already broke up. I wanted to hear her confirmation on this difficult matter...but I can't be too direct.
She looked uneasy over the matter of Fuad. After a long silence (I was doing all the talking to cover my ineptitude...shouldn't have brought up the topic in the first place...my fault) she was ready to expose the truth.
"I think I should tell you something..." she says. "We broke up quite a while ago..."
Why?
"I don't know...maybe we're not meant for each other. There were some unresolved differences...we couldn't quite patch it up..."
When?
"Since our last lunch together...remember?"
Our last lunch? That was a distant two months ago...
"During Chinese New Year, I think. He rarely messaged me...he was minding his own business. It sickened me to endure him behaving like that. I had this feeling that she still has feeling for her former lover. If only he could be frank with me..."
Be cruel to be kind?
"Something like that. No need to pamper my feeling if you're going to break it into pieces in the end. And why cry? That was uncalled-for..."
He cried? Fuad cried?
"Of course. He always did it. Maybe to gain my sympathy..."
I was left clueless by her sudden revelation...and had nothing to say to console her. She was clearly in a state of grief, and I have no idea how to soothe her feeling. After all, Fuad is my close friend as well. And it was me who matched them together in the first place.
Among girls, Ashikin will remain as my best friend ever for many years to come. She bought me "A Tale Of Two Cities", my favourite among classics, almost immediately after I told her about my preference. She organized a secret surprise party for my birthday. I heard somewhere that there was no such thing as " friendship between a boy a girl, without the interference of love". This was utter nonsense...our relationship is the ultimate proof of this fallacy.
She broke the silence moments later.
" I need to go...still have to meet somebody. Forgive me for all my misdeed or nasty behaviour...don't keep it to your heart..."
" It's ok...You've done nothing wrong...please forgive me also if I've done any wrong to you..."
"So...till we meet again...on your wedding day...ok?"
"That's a long shot away...you are before me..."
Around 8.45, I went to the Restu Cafe. I couldn't remember the last time I've been there. I noticed a reminder sticked to the notice board. It says students were prohibited from any "Scouting" activity. And all students must abide by this law to truly achieved the status of APEX University.
What "Scouting" ? The correct term is "Squatting". And still boasting about achieving APEX status, oh my...
I rarely took breakfast...usually I have "brunch", a cross between 'breakfast' and 'lunch'. I was due to meet someone today. I took nasi lemak with teh tarik. Actually I asked Ashikin for a breakfast together...maybe our last. She still didn't show herself up, so I waited for her at one of the tables.
Ashikin asked for a dinner together a week ago. But due to my packed schedule, the plan had to be shelved temporarily. With her due to depart home tomorrow morning, this breakfast was our last resort to meet for the last time.
A few yards in front, I saw a familiar girl. Eja...my fellow state-mate, whom I first met two years ago. That day, she narrowly escaped a fatal accident because of her negligence. I told her to be extra careful in the future...maybe she heeded my advice well then. She sat in the opposite direction, so she didn't notice me.
A fairly fine morning was fast turning into a sombre one. A mild rain showered the area. There was not many people around...an array of empty tables could be spotted easily. I hate farewell in whatever forms...but we must admit, for every beginning, there must be an ending.
Ashikin arrived moments later.
"Why bought breakfast before me? I'll pay for you..." She said while smiling.
"It's ok...I'm starving already..."
"Is it? Wait I'll order mine first..."
She picked her menu and sat next to me. Since I knew her three years ago, she never sat in front of me while we're out. Maybe she's too shy. This last time around, I asked her to sit in front of me.
"It's been a while...eh? Seems to me it was just last night we went to Mc'D together, remember?""What last night? More like this morning to me...hehe"
"Sad to leave USM?"
"A mixed feeling...but I won't be a student anymore...sad la..."
We had a light and cheerful chat before I swayed the topic of conversation towards Fuad. Fuad is her boyfriend. But I heard nasty rumours that they already broke up. I wanted to hear her confirmation on this difficult matter...but I can't be too direct.
She looked uneasy over the matter of Fuad. After a long silence (I was doing all the talking to cover my ineptitude...shouldn't have brought up the topic in the first place...my fault) she was ready to expose the truth.
"I think I should tell you something..." she says. "We broke up quite a while ago..."
Why?
"I don't know...maybe we're not meant for each other. There were some unresolved differences...we couldn't quite patch it up..."
When?
"Since our last lunch together...remember?"
Our last lunch? That was a distant two months ago...
"During Chinese New Year, I think. He rarely messaged me...he was minding his own business. It sickened me to endure him behaving like that. I had this feeling that she still has feeling for her former lover. If only he could be frank with me..."
Be cruel to be kind?
"Something like that. No need to pamper my feeling if you're going to break it into pieces in the end. And why cry? That was uncalled-for..."
He cried? Fuad cried?
"Of course. He always did it. Maybe to gain my sympathy..."
I was left clueless by her sudden revelation...and had nothing to say to console her. She was clearly in a state of grief, and I have no idea how to soothe her feeling. After all, Fuad is my close friend as well. And it was me who matched them together in the first place.
Among girls, Ashikin will remain as my best friend ever for many years to come. She bought me "A Tale Of Two Cities", my favourite among classics, almost immediately after I told her about my preference. She organized a secret surprise party for my birthday. I heard somewhere that there was no such thing as " friendship between a boy a girl, without the interference of love". This was utter nonsense...our relationship is the ultimate proof of this fallacy.
She broke the silence moments later.
" I need to go...still have to meet somebody. Forgive me for all my misdeed or nasty behaviour...don't keep it to your heart..."
" It's ok...You've done nothing wrong...please forgive me also if I've done any wrong to you..."
"So...till we meet again...on your wedding day...ok?"
"That's a long shot away...you are before me..."
"Hehe...so bye-bye..."
She left not long afterwards. 3 years...seems to me more like 3 days. Time really flies, isn't it?
Monday, April 20, 2009
How fraud can you go?
On April 10, I received a mail from my Japanese-Australian friend, Toshi Matoi.
hi, Mi, how are you ?
this is toshi... have you recieved any message from my email account??
my hotmail account has been used by someone and at that moment, i cant open even me..
anyway, you still work at same places? i am planning to visit there again, will you be in penang or another places? will be end of June or beginning of July....
anyway hope to see you again, my friend!!
On April 16, I received this from the old Toshi's mail address.
Hello,
Sorry I didn't inform you about my traveling to UK for a program.i am in London now and am having some little difficulties here because i was robbed on my way to the hotel where my money and my bag that contains my credit cards and some other valuables was taken away.I will like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently with the sum of $1200 to sort-out my hotel bills here and to get me back home as quickly as possible. I will appreciate whatever you can afford to assist me with, I'll pay you back as soon as i return,hope to hear from you soon.
Toshi, with his thick Japanese accent, won't be able to produce a shadow comparison as the decent English writing as the above. Somebody might have sneaked into his mail account, I guess.
And this fraud guy is attempting to squeeze money out of every Toshi's contacts with foolish mail like the one mentioned above. Cheap shot, faker!
hi, Mi, how are you ?
this is toshi... have you recieved any message from my email account??
my hotmail account has been used by someone and at that moment, i cant open even me..
anyway, you still work at same places? i am planning to visit there again, will you be in penang or another places? will be end of June or beginning of July....
anyway hope to see you again, my friend!!
On April 16, I received this from the old Toshi's mail address.
Hello,
Sorry I didn't inform you about my traveling to UK for a program.i am in London now and am having some little difficulties here because i was robbed on my way to the hotel where my money and my bag that contains my credit cards and some other valuables was taken away.I will like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently with the sum of $1200 to sort-out my hotel bills here and to get me back home as quickly as possible. I will appreciate whatever you can afford to assist me with, I'll pay you back as soon as i return,hope to hear from you soon.
Toshi, with his thick Japanese accent, won't be able to produce a shadow comparison as the decent English writing as the above. Somebody might have sneaked into his mail account, I guess.
And this fraud guy is attempting to squeeze money out of every Toshi's contacts with foolish mail like the one mentioned above. Cheap shot, faker!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
A Tough Week...
I've been struck with a powerful virus right after the much anticipated Futsal night. It was not a normal flu...it forced me to stick to bed for two consecutive days. It was a long time ago that flu prompted me to have an extra rest for a lenghty period.
I slept almost 12 hours a day for over a week, drank plenty of milk, stop surfing the internet, read dozen of magazines (mostly Shin Chan and Mingguan Wanita, donated by my sister...) and reluctantly had lunch in KFC to compensate for my loss of appetite.
I should recover fully by tomorrow...in time for a crucial badminton showdown on Monday. So far I've assembled 6 strong individuals...and the figure could rise by tomorrow. Next week's going to be a hectic week...so we'll just enjoy for the moment... :)
" Football isn't part of my life. Football IS my life"
Liverpool should be able to grab the double (maybe treble?) next season. Defeat to Chelsea last 4 days was just a minor hiccup...they'll come back stronger next season. You'll Never Walk Alone, Liverpool. We'll fly together!
I slept almost 12 hours a day for over a week, drank plenty of milk, stop surfing the internet, read dozen of magazines (mostly Shin Chan and Mingguan Wanita, donated by my sister...) and reluctantly had lunch in KFC to compensate for my loss of appetite.
I should recover fully by tomorrow...in time for a crucial badminton showdown on Monday. So far I've assembled 6 strong individuals...and the figure could rise by tomorrow. Next week's going to be a hectic week...so we'll just enjoy for the moment... :)
" Football isn't part of my life. Football IS my life"
Liverpool should be able to grab the double (maybe treble?) next season. Defeat to Chelsea last 4 days was just a minor hiccup...they'll come back stronger next season. You'll Never Walk Alone, Liverpool. We'll fly together!
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