Unlocking Pancasara

Evariste Galois
(1811-1832)

Ne pleure pas, Alfred! J'ai besoin de tout mon courage pour mourir à vingt ans!
(Don't cry, Alfred! I need all my courage to die at twenty!)

That was Evariste Galois' final remark to his younger brother Alfred before he died of severe abdomen injury (he was fatally shot in the abdomen in a duel).

A math genius, legend has it that Galois knew beforehand of his impending death. The night before his duel, he poured all his mathematical thoughts onto paper which has an everlasting effect on mathematics.

The theory that Galois outlined in these papers is now called Galois theory.

His duel was likely a staged suicide. One writer succinctly described his duel as the result of his unhappiness with his surrounding events. 

"He was weary of life, because of his unhappy love affair, his fruitless efforts for gaining recognition for his mathematical work, his financial and work situation..."

I share many of Galois' disgruntlement (minus his mathematical work) and I can easily identify myself with him (again, identify with his feeling, not with his mathematical wizardry). At times, I feel totally lost, without any direction to guide me through the path of the future. 

I could choose to bring all my memories and feelings with me to the grave. Or I could choose to do a Galois. 

Pour out everything onto paper (or in my case, onto Pancasara, and not mathematical equations as Galois, only my feeling and thinking), so that people could comprehend my real feelings and inner thoughts when I'm long gone.

I am not contemplating suicide anytime soon (God forbid), but I'm not so sure about this life anymore. Maybe my time will come tomorrow? Who knows? We can't never be really sure. 

For all my misdeeds and mistakes, I hope people who knew me still have vacant spaces in their hearts to forgive me.

As for doing a Galois, time will tell. 

A weird occurrence

I'm staying alone in this "yet-to-be-named" tissue culture lab.

This is my first time staying here up until midnight. Just finished sub-culturing/passaging cell. I need to religiously maintain this cell for my research.

Went swimming this afternoon, with Amzar and Syafiq, in a lavish condominium. Rin as well as Dr Asyraf live there. Rin lend us her access card so that we could come in. Met Dr Asyraf as we were entering the gate.

Also met Kuhan, his older sister and their family there. They were visiting Aaron, who happened to have his first child. Kuhan is a young squash prodigy who is currently training with me. His older sister is also playing squash, albeit with a lower level of competence.

Aaron meanwhile, was a former Malaysian international squash player. He is currently coaching the Penang squash squad. I never knew that he is living in that area.

I am getting stronger day by day...physically. Last week, I beat both Ammar and Sashwen, back to back. Ammar was a former USM captain who has a qualified coaching badge. Sashwen meanwhile, is Penang's state player. He is currently number four in packing order of Penang MSSM under-18 squash squad . Is this the second coming of youth? I have no idea.

Sadly, my mental strength is going down the drain. I'm still adjusting my life into this new environment. I love new challenges, but sometimes, I feel lost...for no apparent reason. My spirit fades away as fast as I breath.

It's just like, day by day, my body is getting younger, but my mind is edging older.

And this feels really weird.  

Sesal dahulu pendapatan?

Isu ni mungkin dah lapuk. Tapi rasanya perlu tulis sikit. Sebagai luahan.

Baru diberitahu peribahasa ataupun pepatah "harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi" rupanya mungkin mengandungi kesalahan.

Peribahasa / pepatah lama bahasa Melayu ini dikhabarkan sebenarnya telah salah diterjemah daripada tulisan jawi.

Didakwa peribahasa yang betul adalah "harapkan pegar, pegar makan padi". Pegar dikatakan sejenis burung yang makan serangga perosak di laman padi. Tetapi burung ini turut menjadikan padi sebagai makanan.

Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP) telah mengeluarkan kenyataan untuk mengekalkan peribahasa yang asal, iaitu pagar dan bukannya pegar.

Ada terbaca satu komen pembaca di satu laman blog yang menulis "Pagar mana boleh makan padi...pegar baru logik".

Kalau nak aplikasi logik, kena setara untuk semua keadaan. Tak boleh pilih logik untuk satu perkara, tapi abaikan perkara lain.

Adakah logik nak minta burung pegar yang makan padi untuk jaga padi?

Dan kemungkinan kesilapan semasa terjemahan tulisan jawi ke tulisan rumi, perlu diingat peribahasa tersebut telah lama bertapak di alam Melayu. Orang-orang dahulu sangat mahir dalam tulisan jawi, sangat rendah kemungkinan untuk terjadi salah terjemahan.

Melainkan peribahasa tersebut baru sahaja diterjemahkan, mungkin timbul kesilapan kerana orang-orang sekarang sudah kurang yang begitu mahir dalam terjemahan jawi. Tapi bukan ini yang terjadi.

Boleh jadi pagar dalam peribahasa tersebut merangkumi benda-benda yang bernyawa dan tidak bernyawa.

Pagar dalam bahasa Indonesia membawa makna sebarang penjaga, dalam lingkungan peribahasa ini membawa makna sebarang penjaga yang menjaga tanaman seperti padi.

Ini termasuk benda-benda hidup ataupun bukan hidup termasuklah manusia, haiwan ataupun besi, kayu, pancang.

Dan DBP turut memberi contoh pepatah lain yang sinonim maknanya, iaitu "harapkan pancing, pancing makan umpan".

Kalau dari segi logik, mana ada pancing makan umpan? Atau pancing dalam pepatah tersebut juga salah terjemahan dari tulisan jawi?

Jangan sewenang-wenang ubah pepatah yang sudah turun-temurun digunakan zaman-berzaman, melainkan ada justifikasi yang kuat untuk perubahan tersebut. Nenek moyang kita bukannya sesuka hati mencipta peribahasa karut untuk memberi nasihat.

Sebagai contoh, perkataan "batuk" dalam "bagai melepaskan batuk di tangga" rasanya ada justifikasi kukuh untuk ditukar kepada "batok". Tapi terpulang pada DBP untuk membuat sebarang perubahan. Setakat ini, DBP masih mengekalkan ejaan lama.

Ada peribahasa yang jelas salah dari segi tatabahasa, contohnya "sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tiada guna". Apa makna sesal dahulu pendapatan? Tak ada makna dari segi istilah, dan salah di sisi tatabahasa, Tapi peribahasa ini tetap meluas digunakan kerana telah bertapak sejak turun-temurun.

Sama-sama kita jaga pusaka bahasa Melayu tinggalan nenek moyang kita sejak zaman-berzaman.

Rocha

ROCHA, Pesta Penang 2014 Battle of The Band Winner

Formed in 1995, Jitra-based Rocha rose from humble beginning to become what they are today mainly due to their hard work and dedication.

A short form of "Roti Chanai" (because their guitarist works at a roti canai stall), they topped the preliminary round of Pesta Penang 2014 Battle of The Band before striking the grand winner's finale top spot. 

Rocha bagged home RM5000 in cash prizes and a recording offer. They also swept the best guitarist award, the best keyboardist award as well as the best vocalist award in an all conquering win.

They, however, refused the contract offer as their frontman (lead singer) is already under a contract from a KL-based recording label. 

He is their third vocalist, and, according to one of the band members, is their best to date.

Rocha's frontman is my second brother. Haven't met him for three full years as I was away in Sarawak, completing my studies. How time flies. Now a fully grown up man, he is much matured and confidence than me in every ways.

I wish him a very best of luck in the future. Whatever path he may have chosen to lead his life, I will always stand by his side. That's what a brother is for, I guess.  

Obesity

"You should improve your pipetting skills", said kak Adel (or Dr Adelina to be exact), after the result of my BCA assay came out just now.

Something was not quite right with the reading. Even with untrained eyes, the amount of loaded protein was inconsistent. I must admit the pipette was fooling around with me then. It spilled out a small amount of liquid when I tried to insert in carefully into well plates. In molecular biology, 1 ml error is big enough to render the whole experiment useless.

BCA is actually done to measure protein expression from cell . For this past month, I've been treating 3T3-L1 (fibroblast cell from mouse) with selected plant's extract in search of cure for obesity. But the much wanted compound still eludes me. Plus all the reading that I should indulge...it's rapidly taking a toll on me.

For me, the shortest route to combat obesity is very simple. And easy. No need to extract compounds from this or that plant. You eat less, you exercise more. Simple as that. But people are generally lazy. They don't want to exercise. They want to lose fat but with no exercise. They want to eat more food that could reduce their weight. Such an irony...eating more to weight less.

As for the pipetting skills, I'll strive to improve on that.

Time to go home.

Have Hope

So, what is my resolution for this new 2015 year?
It's quite simple.

I want to have hope.

That's all I want.

Throughout my life, I've experienced lots of things.
Lots of terrible, useless, passionate, crazy things.
All these have turned me towards a better and a worse man.

There will always be a bad apple in a bunch of good apples.
There will always be a good apple in a bunch of bad apples.

After all, we decide which apple to see,
and which apple to choose.

All this intriguing while,
I realized that most of us don't need a new car,
a new watch,
a new house,
or even a new life.

We all just need a new hope.
Hope is what drives us.
Hope is what makes us tick.

It provides us with direction,
and reason to stay living.

If we asked God to grant us strength in times of adversity,
do God instill us with strength inside our soul,
or do God provide us the opportunity to be strong?

The adversity itself is the platform for us to display our strength.
Our prayer has long been answered.

So don't despair if God still haven't heeded our prayer.
In all likelihood, our prayer has been answered.
In a way that is totally unimaginable to us before.

Never give up on our hope.

Trust me,
I am what I am today because of hope.

2015

A New Year, With a New Hope.

I will strive to be a far better person this year.

This is the year which will either make or break me.

Just hoping everything will turn out just as planned.

"Courage is not having the strength to go on. It is going on when you don't have the strength" - Theodore Roosevelt