Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Out of My Head

ℱαѕтвαℓℓ ~ Ớυт Ớғ ♏y ℋєα∂ Ֆσмєтιмєѕ ι ғєєℓ ℓιкє ι αм ∂яυηк вєнιη∂ тнє ωнєєℓ Ƭнє ωнєєℓ σғ ρσѕѕιвιℓιтy, нσωєνєя ιт мαy яσℓℓ Ḡινє ιт α ѕριη, ѕєє ιғ yσυ cαη ѕσмєнσω ғαcтσя ιη Ƴσυ кησω тнєяє'ѕ αℓωαyѕ мσяє тнαη σηє ωαy Ƭσ ѕαy єxαcтℓy ωнαт yσυ мєαη тσ ѕαy           Шαѕ ι συт мy нєα∂ ‽ Шαѕ ι συт σғ мy мιη∂ ‽           ℋσω cσυℓ∂ ι єνєя вєєη ѕσ вℓιη∂ ‽           ℐ ωαѕ ωαιтιηg ғσя αη ιη∂ιcαтιση, ιт ωαѕ нαя∂ тσ ғιη∂ Ðση'т мαттєя ωнαt ι ѕαy σηℓy ωнαт ι ∂σ ℐ ηєνєя мєαη тσ ∂σ вα∂ тнιηgѕ тσ yσυ Ֆσ qυιєт вυт ι ғιηαℓℓy ωσкє υρ ℐғ yσυ'яє ѕα∂ тнєη ιт'ѕ тιмє yσυ ѕρσкє up тσσ           Шαѕ ι συт мy нєα∂ ‽ Шαѕ ι συт σғ мy мιη∂ ‽           ℋσω cσυℓ∂ ι єνєя вєєη ѕσ вℓιη∂ ‽           ℐ ωαѕ ωαιтιηg ғσя αη ιη∂ιcαтιση, ιт ωαѕ нαя∂ тσ ғιη∂ Ðση'т мαттєя ωнαт ι ѕαy σηℓy ωнαт ι ∂σ ℐ ηєνєя мєαη тσ ∂σ вα∂ тнιηgѕ тσ yσυ Ֆσ qυιєт вυт ι ғιηαℓℓy ωσкє υρ ℐғ yσυ'яє ѕα∂ тнєη ιт'ѕ тιмє yσυ ѕρσкє up тσσ                  Шαѕ ℐ συт σғ мy нєα∂‽ Шαѕ ℐ συт σғ мy мιη∂‽          ℋσω cσυℓ∂ ℐ нανє єνєя вєєη ѕσ вℓιη∂‽          ℐ ωαѕ ωαιтιηg ғσя αη ιη∂ιcαтιση, ιт ωαѕ нαя∂ тσ ғιη∂ Ðση'т мαттєя ωнαт ℐ ѕαy σηℓy ωнαт ℐ ∂σ ℐ ηєνєя мєαη тσ ∂σ вα∂ тнιηgѕ тσ yσυ Ֆσ qυιєт вυт ℐ ғιηαℓℓy ωσкє υρ ℐғ yσυ'яє ѕα∂ тнєη ιт'ѕ тιмє yσυ ѕρσкє υρ тσσ

Saturday, May 9, 2015

It's ok NOT to be happy...

"If someone you know in depression suddenly becomes happy, do not be fooled to believe that he has recovered. 
Happiness is a big sign very likely that he has made the decision to commit suicide."

Found this quote hovering over the internet about a week ago.

There is a shred of truth about this quote.

Sometimes, a very depressed person who is known to be really quiet could suddenly become very happy.

Or he could abruptly be funny...or at least tried to be so. He could end up throwing up jokes here and there.

That is a cause for concern.

I already had stayed away from all kind of social media. My last one is WhatsApp. And my last status read like this :

"Time flies like an arrow...there may be no tomorrow..."  

If, somewhere or somehow, that status turns to read like this :

"Time flies like an arrow...fruit flies like a banana..."

Then, something is going terribly wrong. Wake me up if that ever happens.

Never mind. I already quit WhatsApp anyway.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Looking For The Silver Lining...

*Edited & Updated

Just received this very recently in my official mailbox.
This is the most heart-wrenching mail I've ever received in my recent memory.

Assalammualaikum dan Salam Sejahtera,

Dear all beloved ‎ETC family members, 

Thank you so much for the lovely giant card and thank you for the beautiful gift. Thank you for the prayers and thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for making me happy and thank you for being such a good friend. God has been very kind to me and I shall not give up on Him upon this small test. 

I'm diagnose with a brain tumour, but alhamdulillah it is just a benign tumour. There are thousands of people out there suffering a ‎malignant type of tumour and mine is not as bad. Life must go on. Happiness will come when we stop complaining about the trouble we have and say thanks to God for the trouble we don't have. 

Setiap yang bernyawa pasti akan merasa mati, no one can escape that. But how, when and why, only God knows. Life is such an amazing journey and knowing all of you is such a blessing. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend, lovely sisters, brothers and great colleagues. I'm really sorry if I have not done much but I'll keep on doing the very best that I know how and the very best that I can till the last breathe of mine....

Lots of Love,
Zafarina

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Dr Zaf is currently head of ETC (Experimental Therapeutic Centre) of Ipharm. An excellent researcher with eyes for intricate details, she commands her subordinates not through forceful act, but through intrinsic love and care.

She survived a heart attack not long ago. I was told she is still nursing the aftermath of the attack. As far as I know, when a person was struck with a heart attack, a portion of the heart was lost or died forever. It cannot be resurrected.  

A day after sending out this mail, Dr Zaf joined us for a potluck, held to celebrate the birthday of one of the staffs. She casually joked that her birthday should be brought forward early as she didn't know where she will be afterwards...whether "heaven or earth". 

Later, I was made to understand that she will go under the knife to remove the tumor. That was what she meant by "heaven or earth". By heaven she meant the after-world. This revelation truly sent uncomfortable shiver down my spine.

Though I rarely talked to her, I really hope that she fully recovers from her current condition. All my thoughts and prayers are always with her.